Nick Jokes / Recent Jokes
T'was the Internet Night Before Christmas'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens, While visions of Java danced in their dreams. My wife on the sofa and me with a snack, We just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac). When out in the Web there arose such a clatter, I jumped to the site to see what was the matter. To a new page my Mac flew like a flash, Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!! I gasped at the thought and started to grouse, Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear. When the image resolved, so bright and so quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick! More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came, Then Nick glanced toward my screen, my more...
The Night Before Christmas
A festive holiday poem by Hugh Drumm & Vincent Ambrose
`Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hacker`s a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,
While visions of Java danced in their dreams.
My wife on the sofa and me with a snack,
We just settled down at my rig (it`s a Mac).
When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.
To a new page my Mac flew like a flash,
Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!
I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
My Mac jumped to a page that wasn`t quite clear.
When the image resolved, so bright and so more...
Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.
One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the more...
Nick was in the hospital for a routine circumcision. When he awoke from the anesthesia, he found a group of doctors gathered around him.
"What's wrong? What happened?" Nick asked, a concerned look on his face.
"Nick, we're sorry. We made a slight error," one of the doctors replied. "Somehow there was a mix-up and we performed the wrong surgery. Rather than a circumcision, we gave you a sex change operation. We cut your penis off and gave you a vagina."
Horrified, a sobbing Nick said, "Oh no! Are you saying I'll never experience an erection again?"
"Sure you will," replied a doctor, "but it will be someone else's!"
Nick's Grandma gave him a map to her house. The address was 1767 Old Miffs Road.
Nick traveled till he got to Old Miffs road. He didn't pay attention to the sign and thought he was lost.
He stopped at a woman's house and she opened the door. "Why hello there!" the woman said. "Nice to see you, Nick."
Nick couldn't hear her, so he asked "Do you know where 1767 Old Miffs Road is?"
"You're here," she said, but Nick still couldn't hear her.
He went to a different house down the road. He asked "Do you know where 1767 Old Miffs Road is?"
"Yes, it's right there."
"This isn't Old Miffs Road!"
"Pay attention to street signs."
okay so me joey and nick are drivin down the road and we get pulled over by a chick oficer and she says if u can show me forty inches of dick ill let u go so i pull mine out 20inches joey pulls his out 39inches and then nick pulls his out we hit forty exactly then she lets us go so were driven away and i say im glad mine is 20in joey says hes glad his is 39in and nick says man u guys are lucky i was hard