Mugged Jokes / Recent Jokes

Your mom is so dumb she was hit with a cup and called the cops and said she got mugged.
Your mom is so dumb she got beat up on the fourth of July.
Your mom is so dumb she thought Christmas was a holiday.
Your mom is so dumb she tried to commit suicide by jumping of a curb.
Your mom is so dumb someone threw a cup at her and she said she got mugged.
Your mom is so dumb she fondled my nutsack with her tongue and tickled my asshole till i blew my load in her face.

A double amputee Iraq war vet was mugged outside a restaurant. According to a police officer, the thieves stole the Marine's arm and leg.
"Oops," he said, correcting himself, "that was Rumsfeld. The thieves took $500."

What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians??
Libertarians are anarchists with money.
Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.
Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options. Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.
Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields.
Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.
Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police.
A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists.
Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them.
Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns.
Libertarians are organized in a more...

What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians??
Libertarians are anarchists with money.
Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.
Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options.
Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.
Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields.
Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.
Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police.
A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists.
Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them.
Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns.
Libertarians are organized in a more...

What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians?? Libertarians are anarchists with money. Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property. Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options. Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo. Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields. Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting. Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police. A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists. Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them. Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns. Libertarians are organized in a political party; anarchists aren't organized in more...