Libertarians Jokes

WASHINGTON, DC
California decriminalized the sale of Caesar salad this week -- and it's not a moment too soon, the Libertarian Party said today.
"When you outlaw Caesar salad, only outlaws will eat Caesar salad," noted the party's Director of Communications, Bill Winter. "That's why, on the issue of Caesar salad, we Libertarians have always been pro-legalization."
Selling Caesar salad became a crime last year when California legislators passed a new health law banning the sale of food that used raw eggs as an ingredient. Unexpectedly, the law included Caesar salad, which uses uncooked eggs in its unique dressing.
Restaurant owners and fans of the popular salad were outraged. The outcry convinced state legislators to file a new bill to cancel the criminal status of Caesar salad -- and, presumably, end what might have become a flourishing black market in contraband romaine lettuce, raw eggs, and Parmesan cheese.
The bill, signed into law by more...

Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, because somebody might come into the room who likes to sit in the dark.

Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They haven't got a policy on that.

Q: How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an' 800' number to order an American light bulb.

Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, if he wants to sit in the dark, it's his business.

Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, because somebody might come into the room who likes to sit in the dark.

Q: How many Perot supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: more...

What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians? Libertarians are anarchists with money.Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options.Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields.Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police.A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists.Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them.Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns.Libertarians are organized in a political party; anarchists aren't organized in more...

What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians??
Libertarians are anarchists with money.
Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.
Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options. Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.
Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields.
Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.
Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police.
A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists.
Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them.
Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns.
Libertarians are organized in a more...