Modern Jokes / Recent Jokes
Nikhil and Mona were newlyweds. Nikhil thought this would be a modern marriage, meaning they would each play equal roles. So, the first morning after their honeymoon, he brought Mona breakfast in bed.
However, Mona wasn't at all impressed by his culinary skills. Looking disdainfully at the tray, she snorted, "A poached egg? I wanted scrambled!"
Undaunted, the following morning, Nikhil brought his new bride a scrambled egg.
Unfortunately, Mona wasn't satisfied. "Did you ever stop to think that perhaps I like variety?" she snapped. "I wanted poached this morning!"
Determined to please her, the next morning, he brought her two eggs….one poached and one scrambled.
"Here, my darling, enjoy," he said cheerfully.
Mona was infuriated. "You scrambled the wrong egg!" she screamed.
Handy Guide to Modern Science:
1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology.
2. If it stinks, it's chemistry.
3. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Why not modern Latin: VENI, VEDI, VISA - I came, I saw, I shopped.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.
Strange! No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Handy guide to modern science: If it's green or wriggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Dearest girl:
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in
love with you since Tuesday the 17th of August 1999
with reference to the meeting held between us on the
17th of august 1999 at 15. 00 hours.
I would like to present myself as a prospective
lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a
period of 3 months and depending on the compatibility
would be permanent. Of course upon completion of
probation, there will be continuous on the
relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion
from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment
would initially be shared equally between us. Later
based on your performance, I might take up the larger
share of the expenses. However I am broad minded
enough to be taken care of on your expenses account. I
request you to kindly respond within 30 days of
receiving the letter-failing which, this offer would
be cancelled more...
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.
However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including the following:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Appointing an intervention team to reanimate the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase the riders load share.
9. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
10. Changing the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead."
11. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead more...
Modern Heights
1. What is height of Fashion?
A. Dhoti with a zip.
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2. What is height of Secrecy?
A. Offering blank visiting cards.
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3. What is height of Active laziness?
A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
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4. What is height of Craziness?
A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
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5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
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6. What is height of Stupidity?
A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
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7. What is height of Honesty?
A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
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8. What is height of more...