Modern Jokes

Joe and Bill are working in a sawmill when Bill accidentally saws his arm off. Joe takes the arm, puts it in a plastic bag, and takes Joe to hospital. The next day, Joe finds Bill in rehab playing tennis. Wow, the wonders of modern science,"
Joe says. They go back to the sawmill and are sawing away when this time clumsy Bill cuts his leg. Joe takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag, and sends Bill to the hospital. The next day, Joe finds Bill playing football. "
Wow, the wonders of modern science,"
Joe says. They go back to work and this time Bill leans too far forward and cuts his head off. Joe takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag and rushes to the hospital. The next day, Joe visits and find no sign of Bill. "
Where's Bill?"
he asks an orderly. "
We could have saved him,"
the orderly replied,"
but some idiot put his head in a plastic bag - and the poor guy suffocated."

Brilliant's Observation On Modern Art: Not all our artists are playing a joke on the public. Some are genuinely mad.

15> Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.
14> Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
13> Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
12> Three Words: Daylight Savings Time
11> Can't enjoy a meal at Burger King without some redneck
yelling, "Look Ma! It's Elvis!"
10> After 45 years of Communist rule, it's impossible to find
clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin.
9> After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Elvira.
8> No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.
7> With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs
are suddenly off-limits.
6> No warm blood for miles around DC.
5> Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
4> No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.
3> Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized
"hardbodies."
2> Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
and the more...

60
The famous British one-eyed Admiral was Nelson
61
The earlier name of Sri Lanka was Ceylon
62
The UNO was formed in the year 1945
63
UNO stands for United Nations Organisation
64
The independence day of South Korea is celebrated on 15th August
65
'Last Judgement'was the first painting of an Italian painter named Michelangelo
66
'Paradise Regained' was written by John Milton
67
The first President of Egypt was Mohammed Nequib
68
The first man to reach North Pole was Rear Admiral Peary
69
The most famous painting of Pablo Picasso was Guernica
70
The primary producer of newsprint in the world is Canada
71
The first explorer to reach the South Pole was Cap. Ronald Amundson
72
The person who is called the father of modern Italy is Giuseppe Garibaldi
73
World literacy day is celebrated on 8th September
74
The founder of modern Germany is Bismarck
75
The country more...

Academy of MudgeologySome selections from our catalog: Course number/Title/(Days/Time)MUS147 HOW TO HUM: LECTURE AND LAB (MW 10:00-10:50)HIS024 U.S. HISTORY SINCE ABOUT AN HOUR AGO (TH 12:00-1:15)GEO222 COUNTRIES THAT ARE ORANGE ON MAPS (MWF 2:00-2:50)ENG537 SURVEY IN ENG LIT: SIR FRANCIS BACON AND LORD HENRY SAUSAGE (MWF 9:00-11:15)POLS834 U.S. DOMESTIC POLICY: IF FROGS COULD VOTE (TH 1:30-2:45)ANT248 AMISH PARTY GAMES (W 6:00-8:15)FR106 ELEMENTARY FRENCH TOAST (MW 8:00-8:50)COM193 TOPICS FROM "GREEN ACRES": LIFE AND TIMES OF MR. HANEY (TU 7:00-9:15)HIS456 THE HISTORY OF SOUP (TH 9:30-10:45)CHE546 THE SCIENCE OF PLAY-DOH (MWF 10:00-10:50)PHI101 THE RAMBLINGS OF DEAD, DRUNKEN PHILOSOPHERS (MWF 9:00-9:50)ARC555 ARCHITECTURE OF THE BRADY BUNCH HOME (WTBS 4:35-5:05)MOO108 THE BOVINE ERA, PART IV: COW HISTORY SINCE 1784 (TH 5:30-7:15)ENG327 SHAKESPEAREAN MEMOS, MENUS, AND GROCERY LISTS (TH 11:00-12:15)ANT764 NOMADIC TRIBES OF SUB-SAHARAN AFRICA THAT ARE REALLY JUST LOST (MW more...