Mississippi Jokes / Recent Jokes

Idaho, Hawaii, Kentucky, Mississippi, and North Dakota have been regarded as being the states with the weakest animal protection laws, resulting in the highest rates of animal cruelty.
In related news, Idaho, Hawaii, Kentucky, Mississippi, and North Dakota have been ranked the top states for having the tastiest barbeques.

A BUS STOPS AND 2 ITALIAN MEN GET ON. THEY SEAT THEMSELVES AND ENGAGE IN AN ANIMATED CONVERSATION. THE LADY SITTING BEHIND THEM IGNORES THEIR CONVERSATION AT FIRST, BUT SHE LISTENS IN HORROR AS ONE OF THE MEN SAYS THE FOLLOWING:
"EMMA COME FIRST. DEN I COME. TWO ASSES, DEY COME TOGETHER. I COME AGAIN. TWO ASSES, DEY COME TOGETHER AGAIN. I COME AGAIN AND PEE TWICE. DEN I COME ONCE-A MORE!"
"YOU FOUL-MOUTHED SWINE!" RETORTED THE LADY INDIGNANTLY..."IN THIS COUNTRY WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT OUR SEX LIVES IN PUBLIC!!!"
"HEY, COOLA DOWN LADY" SAID THE MAN. "IMMA JUST TELLUN MY FRIEND HOW TO SPELL MISSISSIPPI!"

Alabama
Literacy ain't everything
Ya want fries with dat?
Alaska
Come, freeze your butt off
Arizona
Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds
Arkansas
At least we're not Mississippi
California
The Granola State
Nobody's actually from here
Fast reloading lanes available
The really long state
Colorado
Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
Official home of the winter ski bunny
Connecticut
Way too close to New York
Delaware
You'll need a map to find us
So close to Washington you can smell it
Florida
The Gunshine State
Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans go to die
Senior citizen discounts available
Come, enjoy the humidity
The snow capital of the US
Georgia
Home of the Rednecks
Gateway to Florida
Confederate money welcome
Hawaii
Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over
Book 'em Danno
Tom Seleck, Jack Lord, Don Ho - more...

Alabama: At Least We Aren't Mississippi
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong
Arizona: Really, It's a Dry Heat
Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing
California: As Seen on TV
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut: Just Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
Delaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in Our Water
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: Without Atlanta We're Alabama
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well OK, We're Not - But the Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana: Two Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People, Nine Last Names
Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
Maine: We're Really Cold, But We more...

68% of Fish in Mississippi River Can't Spell River's Name

Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The Mississippian said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me."The Texan lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"The lady from Mississippi continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."Again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."Yet again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"The Texas lady replied, "My husband sent me to charm school.""Charm school!" the first woman cried. more...

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

''Emma come first. I come. Dennis come and Dennis come again. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''

''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly.' 'In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''

''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man.' 'Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''