Asses Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Asses

    Hot 6 years ago

    Over near England is a very little island, called the Isle of Man, and a very peculiar thing about the people, on this island is, that they don't believe in automobiles, and the climate is such that they can't keep horses so they all have a donkey or what is commonly called an ass.
    Some have just ordinary asses that you wouldn't look at twice, others have extraordinary asses. The mayor has an ass that nobody looks at twice, but his wife has a beautiful ass.
    People who really know asses say that she has one of the finest asses that they have ever seen. Men often stop her on the way to the market to pat her ass.
    On Sunday they all go to church on their asses. Sometimes the girls ride the boys asses and sometimes the boys ride the girls asses.
    Now of this particular Sunday the preacher had to leave immediately following the sermon so he thought he better have it handy, so he tied his ass just outside the window.
    During the service a fire broke our and everyone ran to more...

    Two Italian Stallions

    Hot 3 years ago

    A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men saying the following;"Emma come first. Denna I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Denna I come once-a more.""You fowl-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma justa tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

    The Fart Zodiac

    Hot 2 years ago

    Aries

    The Ram. Their farts are "Built Ram Tough". They may feel like Curly-Qs coming out of their asses because their farts mimic the curves of a ram's horns. They, the farts, sometimes like to butt heads with other farts. Since people born under the sign of Aries show strong leadership and like to get things started, they are always the first ones to fart while around other people. Their farts tend to be loud since they are energetic. Do you like to hear robust farts? Too shy to be the first one to fart? Get with an Aries.

    Taurus

    The Bull. Their farts can be very stubborn, and once released, they can stink up a space with power for very long periods of time-longer than average. Their farts just don't want to go away. Their farts can even be kinda sharp and hurt their *******s when they come out, because they are big and mimic the sharp horns of the bull. Since Taurus people love sensual pleasures, they must take care not to over-indulge and more...

    A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first but her attention is galvanised when she hears one of them say the following:
    "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses they come together again. I come aain and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
    "You foul-mouthed, sex-obsessed swine," says the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives.
    "Hey coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'abouta sex? I'm justa tellin' my frienda how to spell Mississippi.

    a bus pulled up and two asians got on. a lady who was sat behind overheard there conversation "emma come first den i come two asses dey come together i come again two asses dey come together i come again and pee twice and i come once a more." you foul mouthed swines in this country we dont talk about our sex live in public. "chill lady i was just tellin my friend how to spell mississippi"

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