Alabama Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was
    Enough (they could not afford a larger doublewide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children.
    The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy
    that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a
    cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a
    beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
    The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man,
    but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
    So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia
    physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a
    vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor
    instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light more...

    State Slogans

    Hot 3 years ago

    At Least We're not Mississippi
    11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
    But It's a Dry Heat
    Litterasy Ain't Everthing
    As Seen on TV
    If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
    Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
    We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water
    Ask Us About Our Grandkids
    Without Atlanta we're Alabama
    Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
    (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
    More Than Just Potatoes...
    Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
    Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
    2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
    We Do Amazing Things With Corn
    First Of The Rectangle States
    Five Million People; Seven Last Names
    We're Not All Drunk Cajun more...

    Can`t Get Out!

    Hot 3 years ago

    An Alabama fan was driving down a country road when he came upon two Auburn football players hitchiking. He told the Auburn players to jump in the back of his pick-up truck. He then drove down the dirt road rather fast and lost control of the truck as they were going around a curve. The truck landed in a lake. The Alabama fan scrambled to the surface and swam to the bank. When he looked back at the lake, the two Auburn football players were still sitting in the bed of the truck looking frantic.
    As the truck began sinking the Bama fan yelled for the Auburn players to get out truck, to which they replied, "We`re tryin` to get out, but we can`t get the dang tailgate open!"

    Human Interest Story

    Hot 2 years ago

    A young man graduated from the University of Alabama with a degree in journalism. His first assignment for the newspaper that hired him was to write a human interest story. Being from Alabama, he went back to the country to do his research.
    He went to an old farmer's house way back in the hills, introduced himself to the farmer, and proceeded to explain to him why he was there. The young man asked, "Has anything ever happened around here that made you happy?"
    The farmer thought for a minute and said, "Yep! One time one of my neighbor's sheep got lost. We formed a posse and found it. We all screwed it, then took it home."
    "I can't print that!" the young man exclaimed. "Can you think of anything else that happened that made you or a lot of other people happy?"
    After another moment, the farmer said, "Yep! One time my neighbor's daughter, a real good lookin' gal, got lost. We formed a big posse that time and found her. After we more...


    Hot 2 months ago

    An Auburn fan and an Alabama fan both go over to Tunica to do a little gambling. After a couple of hours the Alabama fan was broke. He looks over and sees the Auburn fan with a wheelbarrel full of quarters.
    The Alabama fan walks over to him and says, "Wow, where did you win all that?"
    To which the Auburn fan replies, "You see that machine on the wall over there? If you put a dollar in you get four quarters back every time!"

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