Minus Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    "Jack-O-Lantern" minus "O" minus "Lantern" plus "Nixon" minus "Sun" plus "Olsen" equals "Jack Nicholson," star of "The Shining."

    (sing to the tune of "Gilligan's Island")
    Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
    Of the doom that is our fate.
    That started when programmers used
    Two digits for a date
    Two digits for a date
    RAM memory was smaller then;
    Hard drives were tiny, too.
    "Four digits are extravagant,
    So let's get by with two.
    So let's get by with two."
    "This works through 1999,"
    The programmers did say.
    "Unless we write new code by then
    The data goes away.
    The data goes away."
    But management had not a clue;
    "It works fine now, you bet!
    Rewriting code cost money,
    We won't do it just yet.
    We won't do it just yet."
    Now when 2000 rolls around
    It all goes straight to hell,
    For zero less then ninety-nine,
    As anyone can tell.
    As anyone can tell.
    The mail won't bring your pension check;
    It won't be sent to you
    When you're no more...

    fun! :-)
    A-Day minus 5"Jimmy, whatever happened to that nice Max Iceberg? I haven't seen him since he came to our wedding ten years ago."
    A-Day minus 4"Look at this ad. It's the exact same set of dishes the girls gave me at work for my bridal shower ten years ago."
    A-Day minus 3"You know, you don't look a day older than when we got married ten years ago. I'm glad you've kept yourself in such good shape."
    A-Day minus 2"Look Jimmy, I can still fit into my wedding dress. See? You're not the only one who's kept in shape these past ten years."
    A-Day minus 1"Remember how nervous you were at our wedding rehearsal dinner ten years ago tonight? I was afraid you weren't gonna show up at the church."
    Anniversary"Oh Jimmy darling. For me? You remembered."

    I can let you have this top-of-the-line stereo for nine hundred dollars, minus six percent for cash," the salesman said.
    The customer, not able to figure the calculation, said he would think about the deal and return the next day.
    That evening, the fellow asked his female friend, "If you were offered nine hundred dollars minus six percent, how much would you take off?"
    "Everything but my earrings," she purred.

    The ballad of Y2K
    (sing to the tune of "Gilligan's Island")
    Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
    Of the doom that is our fate.
    That started when programmers used
    Two digits for a date
    Two digits for a date
    RAM memory was smaller then;
    Hard drives were tiny, too.
    "Four digits are extravagant,
    So let's get by with two.
    So let's get by with two."
    "This works through 1999,"
    The programmers did say.
    "Unless we write new code by then
    The data goes away.
    The data goes away."
    But management had not a clue;
    "It works fine now, you bet!
    Rewriting code cost money,
    We won't do it just yet.
    We won't do it just yet."
    Now when 2000 rolls around
    It all goes straight to hell,
    For zero less then ninety-nine,
    As anyone can tell.
    As anyone can tell.
    The mail won't bring your pension check;
    It won't be sent to you
    When you're no longer more...

  • Recent Activity