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    Pockets

    Hot 2 years ago

    There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers.
    One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill.
    He told the uncle to ask him an addition question.
    So the uncle asked, "What is three plus four?"
    The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, "Seven."
    The uncle said, "Listen kid, you can't count it out on your hands because someday when you are in school, a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now put your hands in your pockets."
    So the little boy put his hands in his pockets and his uncle asked, "What is five plus five?"
    The uncle saw movement in the boys pockets, then the boy said, "Eleven."

    What is two plus two?

    Hot 5 years ago

    An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?" The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Again, the last question was, "How much is two plus two?" Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, "Four." The lawyer was interviewed last, and again the final question was, "How much is two plus two?" The lawyer drew all the shades in the room, looked outside to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for more...

    Economist

    Hot 6 years ago

    A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
    The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?"
    The mathematician replies "Four."
    The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says
    "Yes, four, exactly."
    Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The
    accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
    Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?"
    The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

    Life Will Not Be Like Star Trek-----------------------------------------There are so many Star Trek(tm) spin-offs that it is easy to fool yourself into thinking that the Star Trek vision is an accurate vision of the future. Sadly, Star Trek does not take into account the stupidity, selfishness, and horniness of the average human being. Allow me to describe some of the more obvious errors in the Star Trek vision. Medical Technology------------------------On Star Trek, the doctors have handheld devices that instantly close any openings in the skin. Imagine that sort of device in the hands of your unscrupulous friends. They would sneak up behind you and sealyour ass shut as a practical joke. The devices would be sold in novelty stores instead of medical outlets. All things considered, I'm happy that it's not easy to close other people's orifices. Transporter--------------It would be great to be able to beam your molecules across space and then reassemble them. The only problem is that more...

    Amazing Anagrams

    Hot 1 year ago

    Amazing AnagramsDormitory == Dirty Room Desperation == A Rope Ends It The Morse Code == Here Come Dots Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em Animosity == Is No Amity Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z's Alec Guinness == Genuine Class Semolina == Is No Meal The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet A Decimal Point == I'm a Dot in Place The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one Contradiction == Accord not in it This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare] To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Becomes: In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten. And the grand finale: "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." - Neil A. Armstrong becomes: A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

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