Mighty Jokes / Recent Jokes

I found a mouse in my apartment the other day. What is it that makes mice able to eat all of your shit regardless of where you store it? I had a bucket of weight gaining supplements that I'm taking (because that shit doesn't come in single servings, it only comes in the 50 lb. industrial sized paint bucket) sitting on the top shelf in the cupboards. The mouse somehow climbed up into the cupboards and broke into the bucket and ate half the powder.


So now I have Mighty Mouse on steroids walking through my apartment, harrassing the neighborhood cats, bench pressing my furniture, bitching that my movie selection sucks, drinking my beer, kicking my ass in NCAA 07 for Xbox.

I understand it though, it's the Roid Rage. He doesn't really mean it. Deep down I know that he really loves me.

Young Ahmed Ben Bella loved all kinds of beans, and this understandably gave him embarrassing problems with flatulence. Out in the desert this did not matter - except to his camel, who sometimes dragged his nose in the sand after one of Ahmed Ben Bella's more worthy efforts. But, in his village Ahmed Ben Bella often brought shame upon himself and his family when he could not control himself.
One day Ahmed Ben Bella felt a mighty fart coming on. He was in the middle of the marketplace and made every effort to get through the great throng so as to not disgrace himself. But, as fate would have it, Ahmed Ben Bella's efforts were for naught. And, it was a mighty fart indeed: it blew over several of the shopkeepers stalls and dropped no fewer than three donkeys to their knees.
There was nothing to do but leave his home village in disgrace, and for fifty years Ahmed Ben Bella roamed the earth, hoping that the shame he had brought down upon himself would be forgotten. Finally, as an more...

One day, the lion, the mighty king of the jungle make new law: "Animals not allowed drink alcohol". In the next day lion goes to control how the new law works. There are all O.K., only rabbit is drunken.
What's problem, rabbit, arn't you don't know the new law?
Big grief, big grief, lion, my vife leave me!
O.K., rabbit, that time I forgive you.
In the next day lion again goes control animals and founds rabbit drunken:
What's problem, rabbit, arn't you don't know the new law?
Big joy, big joy, lion, my wife come back to me!
O.K., rabbit, that time I forgive you, but in the last time. If one more time I see you are drunken, I f**k you.
In next day lion again goes control order in the jungle. All O.K., but he never can't find rabbit. At last he find lake and rabbits ears from the water. Lion takes its and take out full drunken rabbit from the water.
Rabbit, do you know, whot I'll do with you?
But who are you?
I am lion, the mighty more...

Once upon a time, in the Christmas Tree Forest there lived the
Christmas fairies. They spent most of their time practising
sitting on top of the Christmas trees. There was just one rule
they had to stick to... it was strictly forbidden for a fairy to
kiss anyone! The trouble was that Floella was a wicked little fairy. One day
Harry the Hare was hopping through the forest when he saw Floella
sitting on top of a toadstool, combing her hair. Floella said,
"Hello, handsome, give us a kiss!"

Harry the Hare was shocked. "Father Christmas doesn't allow that!"
he gasped. "Anyone caught kissing a fairy will be turned straight
away into Goon!"

But Floella tickled his ears - just the way hares love and
whispered, "Don't worry, we won't get caught!"

Harry the Hare trembled with fear and excitement. He looked
carefully over his furry brown shoulder, saw that no one more...