Matt Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.
Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.
Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couple of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.
The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers.
Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity.
"What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank., "You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze."
Matt replies, "And we weren't?"

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.
Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.
Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of dollar bills and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.
The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity.
"What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank. "You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze!!!"
Matt replies, "What...and we weren't?"

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of dollar bills and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers.Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity."What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank."You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze!!!"Matt replies, "What...and we weren't?"

There are 2 men sitting in a bar and they are drinking their beers when one of the men looks to the end of the bar and realizes that Neil Armstrong is sitting at the end of the bar. After some debate amongst themselves whether the man is Armstrong or not, one of the men gathers up the nerve to go up to the man and ask if indeed he is the American Icon.
He gets to the end of the bar and asks, ''excuse me sir, I couldn't help but notice that you are Neil Armstrong.
Mr. Armstrong replies, ''well yes I am how may I help you?'' The man states that it was a pleasure to meet him since Neil Armstrong has always been a big idol and role model in his life. Mr. Armstrong thanks him and asks him what he does for a living. ''I am a journalist'' replies the man. Mr. Armstrong gives a sigh and replies ''Oh, Okay.'' The man continues and asks him if he has a problem with journalists. Mr. Armstrong says no but states that reporters and the media had misquoted him on his moon walk statement. more...

Matt: I bet you can't spell "I cup."
Sarah: I C-U-P
Matt: Eww! You see me pee!

Matt's dad picked him up from school one afternoon. Knowing
the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted
today, he asked his son if he got a part.
Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I
play a man who's been married for twenty years."
"That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you
know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."

Matt's dad picked him up from school one afternoon. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.
Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years."
"That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."