Mansion Jokes / Recent Jokes

Four women are in a retirement home talking about their sons and playing bridge. The first one say her son's a lawyer and he's so rich, he bought Porsches, one for himself, and one for his best friend. The second woman says her son is a doctor and is so rich, he bought two speedboat, one for himself, and one for his best friend. The third says her son is the CEO of a computer company and is so rich, that he bought two mansion, one for himself and one for his best friend. Then all three of the woman turn to Edna, the last one. Edna says, "My son is a homosexual and doesn't have to do anything because his boy fiends give him a Porsche, speedboat and a mansion."

One day Steve Young died and went to Heaven. When he got there, God showed him to his new mansion, which had 49er stuff hanging everywhere. Then Steve looked out his new window and saw an even bigger mansion on the top of the hill. That mansion had Packer stuff hanging all over it, so Steve assumed it must belong to Brett Favre. So Steve asked God, "Why is Brett Favre's house bigger than mine is?"
"That's not Brett Favre's house," God answered, "It's Mine."

A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together.
St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter's holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy! And if there is anything you need, just let me know.
Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says "Here you go" and goes to leave when the forester says "Waitaminute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?"
St. Peter says: "Well, Foresters are a dime a dozen here, more...

A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. "Now, if you will come with me, I will show you your eternal dwellings," said St. Peter. They walked along the clouds and came to a huge mansion with all sorts of lavish trappings. St. Peter turned to the lawyer and told him this was to be his house. The Pope, knowing how important he was to the church could hardly imagine what his house would be like. St. Peter and the Pope continued on to a small, beat-up wooden shack. St. Peter told the Pope that this would be his dwelling. The Pope, shocked, said to St. Peter, "Just a minute! That other guy was a lawyer and he gets a mansion. I was the head of the Roman Catholic church, and this is all the reward I g et?" St. Peter looked at the Pope and said "True, you have more...

A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together.

St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter's holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy! And if there is anything you need, just let me know.

Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says "Here you go" and goes to leave when the forester says "Waitaminute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?"

St. Peter says: "Well, Foresters are a more...

After a long life, dutifully serving his parishioners, the elderly priest died. He found himself in Heaven, where he was warmly greeted by St. Peter. "Welcome," St. Peter said, "You have lived a good life. Let me take you to your quarters, and then I'll show you around Heaven."
St. Peter took the man to a rather plain building, and escorted him to a small room. The room was humbly furnished, but was functional. The priest was a bit surprised, having expected Heaven to be a bit more extravagent, but he was happy to be there.
They then began their tour of Heaven, and it was absolutely beautiful. The priest felt silly for his initial resentment over his room.
Finally, they came upon an enormous mansion. A butler opened the door to the mansion and a man came out, dressed to the nines, and proceeded down a long walkway to the front gate, as servants rolled a red carpet before him. When he reached the gate, a chauffeured limousine pulled up, and the man more...

Bill Gates died and went to Heaven.Saint Peter showed him to his house, a small cottage on a tiny plot in the woods. The closets were full of simple but servicable clothing, and the kitchen was stocked with the basic needs. Bill slowly settled into a modest and quiet life in heaven.One day, Bill was walking in one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit."That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?""Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful lake. I have a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, tennis courts and three Rolls Royces.""Were you the Pope, or a doctor who healed the sick?" asked Gates."No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stalked off more...