Taxi Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

    Goodbye To Mother

    Hot 2 months ago

    A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab -"Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

    Geordie is in Dublin on Business and takes a Taxi from the Airport to his Hotel in the City Centre.
    As they come out of the Airport, the Taxi driver shoots through a red light. "Driver, you could have killed us, you jumped that red light!" shouts Geordie.
    "Ah te be sure, my brother and me, we do that all the time" says the cabbie.
    A mile down the road and the Taxi driver shoots over another red light.
    "Driver, that was another red light!" Screams Geordie.
    "Ah to be sure its nothing at all my brother and me, we do it all the time."
    They get to the next traffic light. Its green, the Taxi driver stops !
    " Driver, its a green light ! Why the hell have you stopped ?" says Geordie.
    "Ah to be sure, " Says the Taxi Driver, " my Brother, he might be coming the other way ........"

    From Scotland

    Hot 4 years ago

    Tourist to Taxi driver: "How much is it to the Airport?"
    Taxi driver: "That's five pounds twenty."
    Tourist: "And how much is it for the luggage?"
    Taxi driver: "The luggage, of course, is free."
    Tourist: "All right, just take that stuff along. I'm walking."

    A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

    For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

    The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

    The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

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