Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab -"Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
Geordie is in Dublin on Business and takes a Taxi from the Airport to his Hotel in the City Centre.
As they come out of the Airport, the Taxi driver shoots through a red light. "Driver, you could have killed us, you jumped that red light!" shouts Geordie.
"Ah te be sure, my brother and me, we do that all the time" says the cabbie.
A mile down the road and the Taxi driver shoots over another red light.
"Driver, that was another red light!" Screams Geordie.
"Ah to be sure its nothing at all my brother and me, we do it all the time."
They get to the next traffic light. Its green, the Taxi driver stops !
" Driver, its a green light ! Why the hell have you stopped ?" says Geordie.
"Ah to be sure, " Says the Taxi Driver, " my Brother, he might be coming the other way ........"
Tourist to Taxi driver: "How much is it to the Airport?"
Taxi driver: "That's five pounds twenty."
Tourist: "And how much is it for the luggage?"
Taxi driver: "The luggage, of course, is free."
Tourist: "All right, just take that stuff along. I'm walking."
A taxi driver driving a Mercedes-Benz picked Santa at the airport one day.
When Santa got in and they started on their way he enquired what the three pinned emblem on the front is for.
The driver replied "Why? It's for lining it up at people so you can run them down".
"Ah I see", said Santa.
With this the taxi driver starts heading straight for an elderly woman but at the last second swerves away and hears a loud bang, he looks curiously over at Santa who is hanging out of the car with the door wide open:
"I thought you were going to miss there for a minute!".