Sped Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A man was driving down a country road one day at 45 miles per hour when suddenly he noticed a 3-legged chicken running at the same speed beside his truck.Though he thought this odd, the man decided to speed up so he wouldn't cause an accident with the chicken.The man sped up to 55 miles per hour, but low and behold, so did the 3-legged chicken. The man then sped up to 65 miles per hour only to again be equaled in speed by the 3-legged chicken. As the man watched in amazement, the chicken suddenly made a sharp left turn and took off down a side road toward a small farm. The man quickly also made the left turn and followed the chicken to the small farm, parking out front. Looking around the man found the farmer around back in the midst of many 3-legged chickens.After greeting the farmer, the man asked him why he was raising 3-legged chickens. "Well we figure," said the farmer, "that with an average family of 3 people, only 2 can have a chicken leg with an average chicken. more...

    John was driving his pickup down a country lane, when suddenly
    a chicken darts out into the road in front of him. He's just about to
    slam on his brakes to avoid the chicken when he realizes that the chicken
    has sped on ahead doing about 30 miles per hour.
    Amazed, he sped up to follow, but the chicken takes off faster
    and faster. Finally the chicken screeches into a turn and goes into a
    small farm. As he turns to follow, John notices that the chicken has THREE
    legs.
    He pulls to a stop in front of the farm house, and looking around,
    notices that ALL the chickens have 3 legs.
    He says to the farmer "THREE-legged chickens? Thats astounding!"
    The Farmer replies "Yep, I bred 'em that way-I love drumsticks."
    John: "Well, tell me, how does a 3 legged chicken taste?"
    Farmer: "Dunno, haven't been able to catch one yet."

    Just after Lorenna Bobbitt brutally cut off her husband's penis, she jumped into her car and sped away. On her way down the highway, holding her husbands penis in her hand, she decided to throw it out the window. She opened her window and tossed the penis as far as she could and sped away again. Meanwhile two potheads who were driving down the same highway happened to cross right by Lorenna just as she tossed it out the window and the penis hit their windshield smack dab in the middle. Stunned but still quiet the two locals drove on. About three miles down the road one pothead turned to the other and said, "Man, Did you see the size of the dick on the Mosquito?"

    There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"
    After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"
    And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"
    The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet, as this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was $300.
    The Japanese man exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive!"
    The driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"

    There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$300.The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive!"There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"

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