Kiss Jokes / Recent Jokes

The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed.
Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.
Sonia is thinking: These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.
Aishwarya is thinking: Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.
Bush is thinking: Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.
Manmohan is thinking: If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush again.

It was a few days before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back home. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly good mood. (Almost a scrooge) Going to check in his luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and pointer parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way. With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the attendant, "Even if we were married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe." "Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is." more...

It was slightly before Thanksgiving. The trip went reasonably
well, and I was ready to go back. The airport on the other end
had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying
elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. Being someone
who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, I
was not in a particularly good mood.

Going to check in my luggage (which, for some reason, had become
one suitcase with entirely new clothes), I saw hanging mistletoe.
Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some
of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and
pointier parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very
Picasso sort of way.

With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent
it, I said to the attendant, "Even if I were not married, I
would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery more...

Humour: What's A Kiss?
Everything you wanted to know about a kiss; -
Definition of A Kiss:

Professors of different subjects define the same word different
ways.
Prof. of Algebra: Kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry: Kiss is the shortest distance between two
straight lines.
Prof. of Physics: Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the
expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Chemistry: Kiss is the reaction of the interaction
between two hearts.
Prof. of Zoology: Kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary
bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology: Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis
oris muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry: Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy: Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when
returned.
Prof. of Economics: Kiss is that thing for which the demand is
higher than the supply.
Prof. of Statistics: Kiss is an more...

It was slightly before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols.
Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly good mood.
Going to check in his luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and pointier parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way.
With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the attendant,
"Even if I were not married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe."
"Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe more...

An attractive young woman approached the clerk at the department store's fabric counter. "I would like to purchase some of this material for a new outfit. How much does it cost?" she asked.
"Only one kiss per yard," the male clerk replied smugly.
"That's fine," she replied. "I'll take six yards."
With great expectation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the fabric, wrapped it, then held it out teasingly.
The young woman snatched the package from his hand, pointed to the little old man standing next to her, and said with a grin, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

To let a fool kiss you is stupid. To let a kiss fool you is worse.