Kansas Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Couples on Vacation

    Hot 1 year ago

    One day three couples in a minivan are heading to Yellowstone National Park on a vacation. One couple is from Nebraska, one is from Kansas, and one is from Iowa. They stop at a little cafe on the side of the road for breakfast. Their waitress serves them their food, and the husband from Nebraska says, "could you pass the honey honey?" to whom his wife, hands over the honey. Then, the husband from Kansas says " Could you pass the sugar sugar?" and she passes him the sugar. The Iowan husband sits there for a minute, then looks at his wife and says "Wanna pass me the bacon, pig?"

    Duck Hunting Lawyer

    Hot 6 years ago

    A big time lawyer from New York went duck huting in Kansas. He shot a duck while it was in the air. It happen to land in a feild next to were he was hunting. Across a fence.
    A farmer was in the feild with his tractor and saw it land on his side. The lawyer climb the fence to go get the duck.
    As he reach for it. The farmer said. Put that down. Thats my duck. The lawyer said no it's not. I shot it. it's mine. The farmer said it landed on my feild it's mine.
    The lawyer told the farmer that he was the best lawyer in N.Y. and he would sue him for every thing he has.
    The farmer said in Kansas we don't sue people to settle dispute. We do by the 1,2, 3 kick.
    The lawyer said. The 1, 2, 3 kick. Whats that.
    The farmer said we kick each other until one give up. And the one who give up first can have the duck.
    The lawyer was a body builder also. As he size up the farmer as he got off his tractor. He agreed to the 1, 2, 3 kick.
    The farmer said. I get to go first. more...

    Windy Kansas

    Hot 4 years ago

    My wife and I were traveling on the Kansas Turnpike, bucking a 30 to 45 m.p.h. crosswind. At the tollbooth, I asked the attendant, "What do you people do in Kansas when the wind quits?"
    The tollbooth attendant didn't miss a beat. She answered,
    "We take the rocks out of our pockets."

    In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
    It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia.
    Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law.
    In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits.
    In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts.
    In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours.
    In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset.
    In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday.
    In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed.
    In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman.
    French Lick Springs, more...

    The NFL team names

    Hot 3 years ago

    NFL Team Lame Names

    When a football team is having trouble getting into the win column, fans usually assign a more appropriate name to describe that team's performance. Here is a collection of some of these lame names for the NFL.

    AFC West:

    Denver Broncos - Denver Donkeys

    Kansas City Chiefs - Kansas City Griefs

    Los Angeles Raiders - Los Angeles Faders

    San Diego Chargers - San Diego Rechargers

    Seattle Seahawks - Seattle Weehawks

    AFC Central:

    Cincinnati Bengals - Cincinnati Plaingels

    Cleveland Browns - Cleveland Clowns

    Houston Oilers - Houston Spoilers

    Pittsburgh Steelers - Pittsburgh Reelers

    AFC East:

    Buffalo Bills - Buffalo Nils

    Buffalo Spills

    Indianapolis Colts - Indianapolis Dolts

    Miami Dolphins - Miami Stallfins

    Miami Soft Ones

    New England Patriots - New England more...

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