One day three couples in a minivan are heading to Yellowstone National Park on a vacation. One couple is from Nebraska, one is from Kansas, and one is from Iowa. They stop at a little cafe on the side of the road for breakfast. Their waitress serves them their food, and the husband from Nebraska says, "could you pass the honey honey?" to whom his wife, hands over the honey. Then, the husband from Kansas says " Could you pass the sugar sugar?" and she passes him the sugar. The Iowan husband sits there for a minute, then looks at his wife and says "Wanna pass me the bacon, pig?"
A big time lawyer from New York went duck huting in Kansas. He shot a duck while it was in the air. It happen to land in a feild next to were he was hunting. Across a fence.
A farmer was in the feild with his tractor and saw it land on his side. The lawyer climb the fence to go get the duck.
As he reach for it. The farmer said. Put that down. Thats my duck. The lawyer said no it's not. I shot it. it's mine. The farmer said it landed on my feild it's mine.
The lawyer told the farmer that he was the best lawyer in N.Y. and he would sue him for every thing he has.
The farmer said in Kansas we don't sue people to settle dispute. We do by the 1,2, 3 kick.
The lawyer said. The 1, 2, 3 kick. Whats that.
The farmer said we kick each other until one give up. And the one who give up first can have the duck.
The lawyer was a body builder also. As he size up the farmer as he got off his tractor. He agreed to the 1, 2, 3 kick.
The farmer said. I get to go first. more...
Illinois Senator Barack Obama, the son of a goat herder from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas, is wrapping up a wildly successful tour of his father's homeland.
Said Obama, "I want to show Kenyans that, in America, you can be successful even if your mother was born in Kansas."
My wife and I were traveling on the Kansas Turnpike, bucking a 30 to 45 m.p.h. crosswind. At the tollbooth, I asked the attendant, "What do you people do in Kansas when the wind quits?"
The tollbooth attendant didn't miss a beat. She answered,
"We take the rocks out of our pockets."
It is illegal to put ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas. It is illegal to hunt whales.Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats. No one may catch fish with his bare hands. The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks. If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights. Dodge City: It is illegal to spit on a sidewalk. Dodge City: All places of business must provide a horse water troft Lawrence: All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival. No one may wear a bee in their hat. Natoma: It's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suites.Russell: Musical car horns are banned Salina: It is against the law to leave your car running unattended. Topeka: The installation of bathtubs is prohibited. Wichita: Before proceeding through the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehicle more...