Jail Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn that was fun!"

    In jail...

    Hot 1 year ago

    This exchange was overheard between the separated sections of the jail. A male voice yells over to the female side: "I got 12 inches over here you would love to have." The female response was: "Well, spit it out it isn't yours."

    Six Nights

    Hot 2 years ago

    A kleptomaniac woman had been caught shoplifting in a supermarket and had to appear in court, taking along her long-suffering husband for marital support.
    The prosecution proved that the theft had taken place so the judge told her that, considering her record, he was forced to impose a jail term.
    "This time you stole a can of tomatoes. There were six tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?"
    The woman agreed.
    "Then I sentence you to six nights in jail."
    The husband jumped to his feet, addressing the judge, "Your honor, may I approach the bench?"
    "Well," said his honor, "this is somewhat unusual but I will make an exception in this case. You may approach the bench."
    The husband wasted no time getting there and, leaning forward, he said in a low voice, "She also stole a can of peas."

    3 Jail Bandits

    Hot 2 years ago

    Ok there were three girls a blonde, burnet, and a red head.They all escaped from jail.Finnaly the police caught them.The police had all of them cornered on a wall.The policeman says ready aim and the burnet says volcano, all the policeman looked back and she got away.Once again the policeman says ready aim and the red head says earthquake all the policeman look back and she gets away, the policeman one more time says ready aim and the blonde says fire!!!

    50 Years

    Hot 3 years ago

    See what 50 years will do:


    Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

    1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.

    2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

    ++++++++++++++++++++++

    Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

    1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

    2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Scenario: Jason won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

    1956 - Jason sent to office and given a good more...

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