Jail Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. Why did the belt go to jail? A. Because he held up a pair of pants!

Flattery Equals Time

Hot 5 years ago

Two old men met on a street corner. The first old man said, "Where have you been for the past few years?"
The second man replied, "I was in jail."
"What? Why were you in jail?" asked the first man.
The second man said, "Well, I was standing on a corner and this beautiful young woman rushed up with a policeman, pointed to me and said, 'That's the man, Officer. He's the one who raped me'."
"What? And you let her get away with it?" exclaimed the first man.
"Well, I'll tell you, I felt so flattered, I admitted to it," replied the second man.

Barkley Out of Jail

Hot 2 years ago

Charles Barkley has been released from a Phoenix jail after serving a three-day sentence. It's the first time in his career that Barkley has completed a sentence that anyone understood.

A farmer gets sent to jail, and his wife is trying to hold the farm together until her husband can get out. She's not, however, very good at farm work, so she writes a letter to him in jail: "Dear sweetheart, I want to plant the potatoes. When is the best time to do it?" The farmer writes back: "Honey, don't go near that field. That's where all my guns are buried." But, because he is in jail all of the farmer's mail is censored. So when the sheriff and his deputies read this, they all run out to the farm and dig up the entire potato field looking for guns. After two full days of digging, they don't find one single weapon. The farmer then writes to his wife: "Honey, now is when you should plant the potatoes."

A police officer stopped a young man for speeding. He stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man's window. "What chew driving so fast for boy? You going to a fahhr? Let me see your license, boy." The young man handed over his license. Then the officer noticed that the back seat of the car was full of large knives. The officer said, "Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?" The young man replied, "Well sir, I'm a juggler." The officer spat some tobacco juice and then he said, "A juggler; well you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!" The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The officer reluctantly allowed him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint. Two more...

A brennette, a red head, and a blonde break out of jail. They decide to hide in a next door barn. The next morning the brenette hears police car sirighns. "Quick lets hide in those baskets!" Says the bernette. So they hide. The cop is ordered to kick the first basket he does and the bernett says "Bark!" "Darn dogs." The cop mumbles. He is ordered to kick the second basket. He does and the red head says "Meow!" "Darn cats." the cop again mumbles. He is ordered to kick the last basket and the blonde yells "PATATOES!!!"

A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail cell to the outside world. When finally his work was done, he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground.
"I'm free, I'm free!" he shouted.
"So what," said a little girl. "I'm four."