Invisible Jokes / Recent Jokes

Assistant: Doctor the invisible man has come for his check up.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

Superman is flying through the skys of metropolis and he thinks to himself "im feeling kinda horny!"just as he thinks that he sees wonder woman sunbathing naked, he thinks BINGO!!"I can fuck her without her knowing!"So he flies down does the buisness and flies off, wonder woman sits up with a startled look on her face and she says "What was that?"then the invisible man says "I dont know but my arse is killing me!"

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

The psychiatrist's secretary walks into his study and says, "Mr. Matthews is in the waiting room asking to see you again. This time he claims he's invisible."
Without hesitation, the psychiatrist replies, "Tell him I can't see him."

What's invisible and smells of carrots?
Rabbit farts.

The Five Stages Of DrunkenessStage 1 - CLEVERThis is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always right. And, of course, the person you are talking to is very wrong. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are CLEVER. Stage 2 - ATTRACTIVEThis is when you realize that you are the most ATTRACTIVE person in the entire bar and that everyone fancies you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing that they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still CLEVER, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun. Stage 3 - RICHThis is when you suddenly become the RICHEST person in the room. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have a bottomless wallet. You can also make bets at this stage because of course you are still CLEVER so, naturally, you will always win. Anyway, more...

How do you tell when you`re out of invisible ink?