Hooker Jokes / Recent Jokes

After listening to the elderly hooker plead her case, Judge Hand called a brief recess and re-! tired to his chambers. En route, he bumpedj into Judge Foote.
"Say," said Hand, "what would you give sixty-three-year-old hooker?"
"Christ," replied Foote, "five or six bucks tops."

Did you hear about the hooker that had herappendix taken out? Now she does business on the side!

A Koala walks into a bar.
A hooker comes up to the Koala and says, "hey hairy, want a date?"
The Koala says sure, and they sit in a booth in the corner.
The hooker and the Koala start to get-it-on and end up with the Koala performing oral sex on the hooker.
Afterwards the hooker tries to get her money, but the Koala refuses.
"Hey," says the hooker, "don't you know the definition of a hooker?"
And the Koala says, "No, sorry, I don't."
And the hooker says, "it's someone who has sex for money."
And the Koala says, "Well I guess you don't know the definition of a Koala."
"What's that?" asks the hooker.
"An animal that eats bushes and leaves."

A hooker goes to confession.

Hooker: father, father i have sinned, i've been a hooker for 20 years what can i do to be saved?.
The priest asks her to remove her clothes and lay down on the floor.
The hooker says, how does this resolve my sins?.
The priest starts f****** her.
Priest: the holy pole is in your hole, now wiggle your ass and save your soul!

Police are warning men about the "Hugging Bandit," who heartily embraces men coming out of downtown bars and leaves them wallet-less. "Hugging Bandit" is police-speak for'hooker.'

A sailor arrives at port after having been at sea for six long months. Being extremely horny, the first thing he does upon setting foot on terra firm is to head straight to the nearest brothel. He goes right up to the madam and says,' How much?' The madam replies that her girls charge two hundred dollars and that she has only one immediately available. The sailor feels that this seems a bit pricey, but in his desperate condition he has no choice. He agrees to the terms and is shown upstairs to a room to await the arrival of the woman. When the hooker gets to the room, she opens the door only to find the sailor furiously jerking off.' Wait a minute!' cries the hooker.' What are you doing?' The sailor looks up at her and answers,' Hey, for two hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to let you have the easy one, do you?'

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
Q: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name?
A: Papa Boner