Harvard Jokes / Recent Jokes

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your porch?
Just pay him for the pizza.

On his first trip to Boston, the North Carolinian met a girl at a bar and asked her, "Do you go to Harvard?"

The girl responded, "Yale."

"Okay. DO YOU GO TO HARVARD?!"

Four Guys, From Harvard, Yale, Mit And Santa Singh From Punjab University Were To Be Interviewed For A Prestigious Job. One Common Question Was Asked To All 4 Of Them.

Interviewer: Which Is The Fastest Thing In The World?
1. Yale Guy: Its Light, Nothing Can Travel Faster Than Light.
2. Harvard Guy: It's The Thought; b'cos Thought Is So Fast It Comes Instantly In Your Mind.
3. Mit Guy: Its Blink, You Can Blink And Its Hard To Realize You Blinked
4. Santa Singh: Its Loose Motion
Interviewer: (Shocked To Hear Santa's Reply, Asked) "Why"?
Santa Singh: Last Night After Dinner, I Was Lying In My Bed And I Got The Worst Stomach Cramps, And Before I Could Think, Blink, Or Turn On The Lights, It Was Over!!!!

The Interviewer Then Told Santa Singh To Wear Red Coloured Shorts During Such Situations.

Santa Was Confused; He Asked "Red Shorts? ?? How Does It Help"

The Interviewer Told "Dont You Know more...

Richard Watson, an MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed, blowing a whistle, and then walking off the field.

At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football game, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for an hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field.

Richard wrote his thesis on this, and graduated!

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention.
The Harvard graduate said, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands at Yale?"
The Yale grad responded, "They taught us not to piss on our hands."

How many Harvard girls does it take to change a lightbulb? It's Radcliffe. It's women. And it's not funny!