Goon Jokes

Once upon a time there was a very naughty little rabbit who liked to tie squirrel's tails in knots. The squirrels were, naturally, very upset by this and appealed to the Spirit of the Woods.
She appeared before the little rabbit and said "You are a very bad little rabbit and if you tie just one more squirrel's tail I will change you into a goon!"
The rabbit promised he would be good, for he surely did not want to be a goon but, before long, he yielded to temptation and tied another squirrel's tail into a knot. The Spirit reappeared instantly and with a puff of smoke - she changed the little rabbit into a goon.
The moral of the story, of course, is... "Hare today, goon tomorrow."

Once upon a time, in the Christmas Tree Forest there lived the
Christmas fairies. They spent most of their time practising
sitting on top of the Christmas trees. There was just one rule
they had to stick to... it was strictly forbidden for a fairy to
kiss anyone!
The trouble was that Floella was a wicked little fairy. One day
Harry the Hare was hopping through the forest when he saw Floella
sitting on top of a toadstool, combing her hair. Floella said,
"Hello, handsome, give us a kiss!"
Harry the Hare was shocked. "Father Christmas doesn't allow that! he gasped. "Anyone caught kissing a fairy will be turned straight
away into Goon!"
But Floella tickled his ears - just the way hares love and
whispered, "Don't worry, we won't get caught!"
Harry the Hare trembled with fear and excitement. He looked
carefully over his furry brown shoulder, saw that no one was
looking. .. and more...

Once upon a time, in the Christmas Tree Forest there lived the
Christmas fairies. They spent most of their time practising
sitting on top of the Christmas trees. There was just one rule
they had to stick to... it was strictly forbidden for a fairy to
kiss anyone! The trouble was that Floella was a wicked little fairy. One day
Harry the Hare was hopping through the forest when he saw Floella
sitting on top of a toadstool, combing her hair. Floella said,
"Hello, handsome, give us a kiss!"

Harry the Hare was shocked. "Father Christmas doesn't allow that!"
he gasped. "Anyone caught kissing a fairy will be turned straight
away into Goon!"

But Floella tickled his ears - just the way hares love and
whispered, "Don't worry, we won't get caught!"

Harry the Hare trembled with fear and excitement. He looked
carefully over his furry brown shoulder, saw that no one more...

I wish my name was Gary Boone! Do you wanna know why? Because, then, my name could be goon... you see, because you take the "G" from Gary and the "oone" from Boone to get Goon!
But, you know, that's not the worst nickname. The person that does have the worst nickname is my friend, Phil Hart. I can't even tell you what we call him...