Frank Jokes / Recent Jokes
Editor's Note: Not really all humor, unless you consider grown men in tights slapping each others asses funny...
#1. Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.
' Football is only a game.
Spiritual things are eternal.
Nevertheless, Beat Texas'
#2.' After you retire from football, there's only one big event left... and I ain't ready for that.' Bobby Bowden / Florida State
#3.' The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.' Lou Holtz / Arkansas
#4.' When you win, nothing hurts.' Joe Namath / Alabama
#5.' Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.' Lou Holtz / Arkansas
#6.' If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password,' Roll, tide, roll!' Bear Bryant / Alabama
#7.' A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.' Frank Leahy / Notre more...
Bill and Frank are walking in a field and they come across an old-fashioned well. Bill says to Frank "How deep do you think it is?" Frank says, "Let's throw something down and listen for the sound."
Frank picks up an old railroad tie and tosses it down the well. All of a sudden a goat comes galloping across the field and jumps in the well. "Did you ever see anything like that before?" muses Bill.
A few minutes later a girl comes up and asks if either of them have seen a goat. Bill explains "Well actually, we did just see a goat. It was the darndest thing. He just came running and jumped in this well."
"Oh that can't be my goat," she exclaimed with relief. "My goat was tied to a railroad tie."
Ed called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner.
"Hello?" said a little girl's voice. "Hi, honey, it's Daddy," said Ed. "Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."
After a brief pause, Ed said, "But you don't have an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Yes, I do. He's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"
"Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car just pulled up outside the house."
A few minutes later, the little girl came back to the phone.
"Well, I did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?"
"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all more...
Experts say that although Frank Sinatra is dead, his act is still 150% moreentertaining than Frank Sinatra Jr.'s.
Frank and Estelle are lieing in bed together and Frank is watching Match of the Day on TV.
As Frank is watching the game and as the game is getting interesting he hears Estelle say, "Frank you will never guess what I heard about the Epsteins today!."
Frank then turns to Estelle and says, " Can this wait? Can't you see that I am trying to watch the game here! "
" Fine! " Estelle replies, " have it your own way, I am just sick of you watching that idiot TV box all the time, that's all. Why don't you try doing something constructive? Llike reading a book for a change!"
" Fine by me!" says Frank, " I will. Anything for a bit of piece and quiet from you!"
So Frank turns off the TV and picks up a detective novel and begins to read.
After a few minutes Frank becomes immersed in his book but can hear loud annoying sighs coming from Estelle so without looking away from his book he asks, "What is it now more...
Frank Sinatra, "Old Blue Eyes," has died.Frank will now be known as "Old Closed Eyes."
Frank was barely sitting down when he heard a voice from the other stall saying, "Hi, how are you doing?"
He's not the type to start a conversation in the restroom, but he don't know what got into him, so he answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doing just great!"
And the person in the other stall said, "So, what are you up to?"
What kind of question is that? At this point, Frank was thinking this was too bizarre, so he said, "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"
At this point he was just trying to get out as fast as he could, when he heard another question, "Can I come over?"
This question was just too weird for Frank, but he figured he could just be polite and end the conversation. He told the person, "No... I'm a little busy right now!!!"
Then he heard the person say nervously, "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!"