Everytime Jokes / Recent Jokes
There were once three guys with no dicks. They all went to the doctor's. The first guy says, "Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me!""What's the problem?" asks the doctor." I have no dick!"So the doctor gives him a metal dick and tells him to come back in a week. The next guy comes in and says, "Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me!" "What's wrong?" the doctor asks." I have no dick!"The doctor gives him a wooden dick and tells him to come back in a week. The last guy comes in and has the same problem. The doctor gives him an electrical dick, and also tells him to come back in a week. A week later, the first guy with the metal dick goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I hate you, I hate you!""Why?" asks the doctor." Well, everytime I have sex with my girlfriend, she starts to shiver!" He walks out. The next guy with the wooden dick comes in and says, "Doctor! I hate more...
Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
This is a true story from a place where I used to work...
A man called in to tech support for his internet service and explained to
the technician that everytime he got on the Internet, he got shocked. The
tech first thought that maybe he was just surprised, but the man actually
meant he was SHOCKED. The tech and the man troubleshoot for a little over
an hour to try and find out what the problem was. Finally the man told the
tech that everytime I get on the Internet, I get shocked... when I lick
the monitor with pictures of nude women. Needless to say the tech had to
disconnect the call because he was laughing too much to continue the
conversation.
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married? LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room. LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love." LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing." MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about? LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have. LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot. MARRIAGE - When you argue over money. LOVE - When you share everything you own. LUST - When you steal everything they own. MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything. LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax. LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax. MARRIAGE - What's a climax? LOVE - When you write poems about your partner. LUST - When all you write is your phone number. MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks. LOVE - When you show concern for your partner's feelings. LUST - When you more...