Bath Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Rolling in the deep

    Hot 4 months agoby ellie

    - rolling in the deep ooohhhh
    - nan please take the wheel chair out the bath

    Lucky At Bingo

    Hot 3 years ago

    A wife was out for the evening playing bingo and came home sporting a new fur coat. "Honey," she said to her husband, "look what I won at bingo!"
    The next week, she came home from bingo wearing a huge diamond ring. "Hey, honey," she said, "look what I won at bingo!"
    The following week, when she came home from bingo, she was driving a brand new BMW. "Look!" she exclaimed. "Look what I won at bingo!"
    As she preparing to get ready for bingo the next week, her husband asked, "Darling, would you like me to draw a bath for you?"
    "Oh, yes please," she replied.
    When she went to get in the tub, she noticed that there was less than an inch of water in it. "Honey, how am I supposed to take a bath with such a small amount of water?" she asked.
    "Well, I wouldn't want you to get your bingo card wet!" replied the husband.

    Male assertiveness

    Hot 1 year ago

    A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" "The funeral director," said his wife.

    Dart Team

    Hot 7 months ago

    Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a tenant for their terrace house. After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a
    nearby city center studio for a few weeks and that she would like the room from Mondays to Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week.
    Doris showed her the house and they agreed to start straight away. "There's just one problem," explained the model. "Because of my job, I have to take a bath every night, and I notice you don't have a bath."
    "That's not a problem," replied Doris. "We have a tin
    bath out in the yard and we bring it in to the living room in front of the fire and fill it with hot water."
    "What about your husband?" asked the model.
    "Oh, he plays darts most weekdays, so he will be out in the evenings," replied Doris.
    "Good," said more...

    A person wanted a parrot who talked. Going to the pet store, this lover of talking parrots asked if there was a bird who was already speaking. "Yes," the pet store owner said, "this bird has a vocabulary of about 1000 words plus 50 phrases guaranteed to fit most occasions." The deal was made and the parrot was brought home complete with a cage. The next day the purchaser went back and said the parrot had yet to say a word. "That's to be expected," said the pet shop owner. "Try getting the bird a few of the toys that were here for the bird to use in the shop. It just needs to feel at home with you." Toys were purchased and a day went by. The parrot's owner returned and said there still had been no talking. "I see," said the pet shop owner. "Perhaps if you got a bird bath, the parrot would start to talk while using it." A bird bath was purchased and yet another day went by. The next day the owner was back with the same more...

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