Belly Jokes

I told my wife her belly was too big.
She said, "That's a bit below the belt."
"Exactly." I said.

Why did the blonde have a sore belly button? Her boyfriend was also blonde.

Why does a blonde girl always have a bruise around her belly button??? Cause blonde boys aren't that smart either.

A Day at the Horse Races
Horses in the race are:
1. Passionate Lady
6. Clean Sheets
2. Bare Belly
7. Thighs
3. Silk Panties
8. Big Johnson
4. Conscience
9. Heavy Bosum
5. Jockey Shorts
10. Merry Cherry
At the Post
They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosum is being pressured. Passionate lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot.
At the Halfway Mark
It's Bare Belly on top. Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in. Heavy Bosum is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
At The Stretch
Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is making a final drive. Passionate Lady is coming.
At The Finish Its Big Johnson giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer. more...

A few rules for what men can and cannot wear at a private pool.
1) Speedos. Speedos cannot be worn by men under the following conditions:
1A) If when you look down, you can't see the color of your Speedo, you probably should not be wearing one. No matter how manly your chest may be, if your belly exceeds your chest, it is not arousing to women to see your skimpy bathing suit.
1B) If your belly hangs down over the top of the Speedo, you should not be wearing one. No, women are not impressed that you can do finger acrobatics tying up your Speedo with only one hand, as the other hand is being used to lift up the fold of skin of your belly hanging mercilessly down over the top of your Speedo.
1C) If you have one of those penises that kind of stick straight out as opposed to hang down, you should not be wearing one. No, women do not get turned on by 1and a 1/2 inches of pure male passion raging from your loins.
1D) If you have a butt that is larger than most lawn more...