Heavy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Chinese man walked into a pub in New York with his pal.
    He says to his pal, "Hey! That's Jurassic Park Director, Steven Spielberg over there! God, I wish he'll come over to say hi".
    Spielberg suddenly walked over and gave the man a heavy punch on the nose.
    "Hey! What's that for?!"
    "You bloody Japanese killed my granddad when you bombed Pearl Harbour!"
    "I'm not Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
    "Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, you're all the same!"
    Spielberg walks back.
    The Chinese man calmly walks over and gives Spielberg a really heavy punch on the face.
    "What... !?!"
    "YOU BLOODY AMERICAN! YOU SANK THE TITANIC!"
    "No, no, an iceberg sank the Titanic!"
    "Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg, you're all the same!"

    A Letter from Mom

    Hot 5 years ago

    Dear Son,
    I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the last family here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in, pulled the chain, and I haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days this time. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt Sue sid it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know if you are an Aunt or and Uncle. Not much more news this time, write soon.
    Love, Mom
    P.S. Was going to send you money, but the more...

    A Day at the Horse Races

    Hot 2 years ago

    A Day at the Horse Races
    Horses in the race are:
    1. Passionate Lady
    6. Clean Sheets
    2. Bare Belly
    7. Thighs
    3. Silk Panties
    8. Big Johnson
    4. Conscience
    9. Heavy Bosum
    5. Jockey Shorts
    10. Merry Cherry
    At the Post
    They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosum is being pressured. Passionate lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot.
    At the Halfway Mark
    It's Bare Belly on top. Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in. Heavy Bosum is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
    At The Stretch
    Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is making a final drive. Passionate Lady is coming.
    At The Finish Its Big Johnson giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer. more...

    HORSE RACE

    Hot 4 years ago

    HORSE RACE Line up:
    In lane 1. Passionate Lady
    In lane 2. Bare Belly
    In lane 3. Silk Panties
    In lane 4. Conscience
    In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
    In lane 6. Clean Sheets
    In lane 7. Thighs
    In lane 8. Big Dick
    In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
    In lane 10. Merry Cherry
    AND THEY'RE OFF!!!
    Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is knocking on the door.
    AT THE HALFWAY MARK:
    It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is moving in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.
    AT THE STRETCH:
    Merry Cherry pops under the strain. Bare Belly is making a final push. Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.
    AT THE FINISH:
    It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate more...

    Boom!

    Hot 4 years ago

    One day 3 guys are in an airplane, An American, a Spaniard, and an Egyptian. Suddenly the plane gets to heavy while its over Egypt.
    So the Egyptian throws a model of the Pyramids overboard. When he gets down he finds the boy crying.
    Why are you crying little boy? He asks.
    Im crying cause a pyramid fell on my head.
    The plane gets back in the air and it is still too heavy. So the Spaniard throws a toy bull off the plane. He gets down and finds a boy crying.
    Why are you crying little boy? He asks.
    Im crying cause a toy bull fell on my head.
    The plane goes back into the air and its still too heavy. The American then throws a pipe bomb out the overboard. He gets down and finds the boy laughing his guts out.
    Why the hell are you laughing so hard?
    Im laughing cuz when I farted the building behind me went boooooooooom!

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