Elders Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Vow of Silence

    Hot 2 years ago

    A man joins a monastery and although he takes a vow of silence, he is permitted to say two words every seven years.
    After the first seven years have past, the elders bring him in and ask him for his two words.
    "Cold floors," he says. The elders nod and send him away.
    After seven more years, they bring him in and ask for his two words.
    "Lousy food," he mumbles. Again, the elders nod and send him away.
    Another seven years pass and the elders bring him in and once more ask him for his two words.
    "I quit," he says, clearing his throat.
    "We're not surprised," says the elders, "you've done nothing but complain since you got here."

    The fallen

    Hot 8 years ago

    In a certain church, the priest found out that the members made frequent confessions of having sex or committing adultery so much that he openly decided on a coded line to be used by the members to make this confession.The line was "I have fallen". Pretty soon, a new priest was brought to the church.
    This man of God knew nothing about the code.At a general meeting of Presbyters, he told the elders of many members complaining of falling when they came for confessions and asked if the pavements and floors could be redone to arrest the situation.At this, one of the prominent elders burped into an uncontrollable round of laughter.The priest thinking this man was not taking the matter seriously, looked sternly at the man and remarked,"Well Mr Arthur, if you dont care about others falling, today is a Wednesday and to tell you the truth, your wife has fallen thrice since Monday, which means she falls at least once a day.Who knows, it may increase to ten times if situation more...

    A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He's allowed to say only two words every 7 years.
    After the first 7 years, the elders bring him in and ask him for his 2 words.
    "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away.
    7 more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. He clears his throat and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away.
    7 more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. "I quit," he says.
    "That's not surprising," the elders say... "You've done nothing but complain since you've been here!"

    A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He's allowed to say only two words every 7 years.After the first 7 years, the elders bring him in and ask him for his 2 words."Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. 7 more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. He clears his throat and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. 7 more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. "I quit," he says."That's not surprising," the elders say... "You've done nothing but complain since you've been here!"

    There was a tailor in a little village who was known to brutally attack and torture his wife by clobbering her head with a club and stab her with needles. The villagers decided that they should bring the tailor to justice, so they arrested him and took him to the village elders. The elders believed everyone should have a second chance, so they gave the tailor one last chance. They told him," We will give you one last chance for you and your wife to share sorrow and happiness together. If you don't, you will be sent to the gallows to be hanged." The villagers gleefully looked on as the tailor somberly walked home.
    The first few weeks went well, but after that, the tailor started clobbering his wife on the head again. When he was brought to the village elders and asked for his alibi, the tailor said," I stayed true to my word, for when I hit my wife on the head, I am full of happiness and she is full of sorrow. When I miss, she is full of happiness and I am full of more...

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