Nod Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning til night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

    One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

    All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

    At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.

    This was so more...

    Camel Betting

    Hot 2 years ago

    Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, “See that camel over there? I’ll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.
    The other guy says “No way”.
    The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel’s legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air.
    A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, “I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no. ”
    The second guy says, “You got me last time, but there’s no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no. ”
    The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, “Remember what I did last time? ”. (Camel nods). “Want me to do it again? ”

    A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride. While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways...

    At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he more...

    FARMER'S MULE
    A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately
    demanded an inspection of the place. The Farmer had genuinely tried to be
    friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly,
    non-antagonistic relationship. To no avail, she kept nagging them at every
    opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice and making life
    unbearable to the farmer and his new bride. While they were walking through
    the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law
    in the head, killing her instantly. At the funeral service a few days
    later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked
    by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the
    farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked
    by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head, no and
    mumble a reply. Very curious as more...

    Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, "See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.

    The other guy says "No way".

    The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel's legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air.

    A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, "I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no."

    The second guy says, "You got me last time, but there's no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no."

    The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, "Remember what I did last time?". (Camel nods). "Want me to do it again?"

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