Eighties Jokes

This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, "Where are you going? " He said, "I'm going to the doctor." And she said, "Why? Are you sick?" "No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills." So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweaterand he said, "Where are you going?" She said, "I'm going to the doctor too." He said, "Why?" She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thingagain, I'm going to get a tetanus shot."

An elderly couple, both in their eighties, had just gotten married and are on their honeymoon. When they reach their hotel room, she slips into something sexy and crawls into bed to wait for her groom who's in the bathroom sprucing himself up.
She waits and waits until she can't wait any longer, so she gets up and goes to the bathroom. Opening the door and peeking in, she sees him struggling to put on a condom.
Letting out a giggle, she says, "Honey, what are you doing? I'm in my eighties and can't get pregnant anymore."
"Yes, I know, dear," he replies, "but you know how the dampness affects my arthritis."

This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat.His wife said, "Where are you going ?"He said, "I'm going to the doctor."And she said, "Why? Are you sick?""No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweaterand he said, "Where are you going?"She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."He said, "Why?"She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thingagain, I'm going to get a tetanus shot."

Editor's Note: This is kind of long, and actually considering it's an awful lot like many conversations I've had, not as funny as it might be. But, heck, enjoy it anyhow...

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PeaceNik: Why did you say we are we invading Iraq?

WarMonger: We are invading Iraq because it is in violation of security council resolution 1441. A country cannot be allowed to violate security council resolutions.

PN: But I thought many of our allies, including Israel, were in violation of more security council resolutions than Iraq.

WM: It's not just about UN resolutions. The main point is that Iraq could have weapons of mass destruction, and the first sign of a smoking gun could well be a mushroom cloud over NY.

PN: Mushroom cloud? But I thought the weapons inspectors said Iraq had no nuclear weapons.

WM: Yes, but biological and chemical weapons are the issue.

PN: But I thought Iraq did not have any long more...