Council Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Two doctors opened an office in a small town, and put up a sign reading "Dr. Greene and Dr. Turner, Psychiatry and Proctology".
    The town council wasn't happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to "Hysterias and Posteriors".
    This was unacceptable too, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids." Still no go.
    Next they tried "Catatonics and High Colonics". Thumbs down again.
    Then came "Manic-depressives and Anal Retentives". Still no good.
    How about "Minds and Behinds"? Once more, unacceptable.
    Next they tried, "Lost Souls and Ass Holes". Still no go.
    They even tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts", "Nuts and Butts", "Freaks and Cheeks" and "Loons and Moons", all of which were also unacceptable.
    Nearing their wit's ends, the doctors finally came up with a business slogan they thought might be more...

    An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How many children?" asks the council worker "10" replies the Essex girl "10???" says the council worker.. "What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne" "Doesn`t that get confusing?" "Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER`S READY or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..." "What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker. "That`s easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames."

    Ron Price, a Dallas School Board member, asked the City Council to look into a law that would go after men who wore baggy pants and exposed their underwear. “It’s disgusting, disrespectful, and dishonorable”, said Price. Some Dallas residents may remember Price when he ran for City Council on the “You Crazy Kids, Get Off My Lawn” platform. Opponents to Price are calling the idea racist and targeting minorities, but most are just calling it a ‘complete waste of time’.
    In other news, MC Hammer has canceled his trip to Dallas.

    Two doctors opened an office in a small town.
    They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology."
    The town council was not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to: "Hysterias and Posteriors."
    This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."
    No go! Next they tried "Catatonics and Colonics" Thumbs down again.
    Then came, "Manic-Depressives and Anal-Retentives."
    But is was still not good! So they tried:
    "Minds and Behinds"
    "Analysis and Anal Cysts"
    "Nuts and Butts"
    "Freaks and Cheeks"
    "Loons and Moons"
    "Lost Souls and Ass Holes"
    None worked.
    Almost at their wits' end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be accepted by the council:
    "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Odds and more...

    Two doctors opened an office in a small town.
    They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology."
    The town council was not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to: "Hysterias and Posteriors."
    This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."
    No go! Next they tried "Catatonics and Colonics" Thumbs down again.
    Then came, "Manic-Depressives and Anal-Retentives."
    But is was still not good! So they tried:
    "Minds and Behinds"
    "Analysis and Anal Cysts"
    "Nuts and Butts"
    "Freaks and Cheeks"
    "Loons and Moons"
    "Lost Souls and Ass Holes"
    None worked.
    Almost at their wits' end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be accepted by the council:
    "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Odds more...

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