Eden Jokes / Recent Jokes

Eve, in the Garden of Eden, called out, "Lord, I have a problem."
And the Lord said, "What's the matter, Eve?"
"I know that You created me and this beautiful garden... but I'm lonely... and I'm sick of eating apples."
"Well, in that case", replied the Almight, "I'll create a man for you."
"What's a man?"
"Well, he's a flawed creature with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to listen. But he's big and fast and muscular. He'll be really good at fighting, kicking a ball and hunting animals."
"Sounds great!" replied Eve.
"There's one condition," added the Lord. "You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.
"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What’s the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely, and I’m sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What’s a man, Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He’ll lie, cheat, and be vain; all in all, he’ll give you a hard time. But he’ll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he’s aroused, but since you’ve been complaining, I’ll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like more...

IN THE BEGINNING [author unknown]
(To justify God’s ways to the 21st century.)
In the beginning there was the computer. And God said
: Let there be light!
#Enter user id.
: God
#Enter password.
: Omniscient
#Password incorrect. Try again.
: Omnipotent
#Password incorrect. Try again.
: Technocrat
#And God logged on at 12: 01: 00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
: Let there be light!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
: Create light
#Done
: Run heaven and earth
#And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12: 02: 00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
#Approx. funds remaining: $92. 50.
#And God logged on at 12: 01: 00 AM, Monday, March 2.
: Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
: Create firmament
#Done.
: Run firmament
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 more...

God and the ComputerIn the beginning there was the computer. And God typed: %>Let there be light! #Please login. %>login God #Password?. %>Omniscient #Password incorrect. Try again. %>Omnipotent #Password incorrect. Try again. %>Technocrat #And God logged on at 12: 01: 00 AM, Sunday, March 1. %>Let there be light! #Unrecognizable command. Try again. %>Create light #Done %>Run heaven_and_earth #And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors. #And God logged off at 12: 02: 00 AM, Sunday, March 1. #And God logged on at 12: 01: 00 AM, Monday, March 2. %>Let there be firmament in the midst of waters dividing the waters which are under and above the firmament #Unrecognizable command. Try again. %>Create firmament #Done. %>Run firmament #And God created the heaven. And God saw there were 0 errors. #And God logged off at 12: 02: 00 AM, Monday, March 2. #And God logged on at 12: 01: 00 AM, Tuesday, March 3. %>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and more...

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel.
They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's
that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and
home."

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Able. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and home."

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain andAbel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boysasked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ateus out of house and home."