Drum Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why do drummers have a half ounce more brains than horses? A: So they don't disgrace themselves at the parade.Q: How do you know if there is a percussionist at the door? A: The knocking gets slower.Q: How can you tell when there is a drummer at your front door? A: The knocking gets faster.Q: How do you know when a drum solo's really bad? A: The bass player notices.Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A: A drummer.Q: What do you call a drummer who has just broken up with his girlfriend? A: Homeless.Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test? A: Drool.If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Drum!
Drum who?
Drum as fast as you can!

The New Drum by Major Headache

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the more...

Q: How do you know when a drum solo's really bad?
A: The bass player notices.

Can I have a broken drum for Christmas? The best thing you could have asked for. You can't beat it!