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Hotel Letters
The following letters were taken from an actual incident between aLondon hotel and one of its guests. The hotel submitted the letters to the London SundayTimes for their humor column....

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Dear Maid,
    Please do not leave any more of those little barsof soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the sixunopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in theshower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman

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Dear Room 635,
    I am not your regular maid. She will be backtomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dishas you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of yourKleenex dispenser in case you more...

Q. Why can`t a blonde dial 911?
A. She can't find the eleven

Hi everyone.... If u have a cell phone, Recharge ur phone every month freely by following this process Please follow the instruction & you can recharge your SIM card absolutely free. Yes it is possible, see how technology can be used to make technicians fool. I just got a mail from a friend of mine, whose friend is B. Tech.(ETC) from IIT Powai, teaching me how to reload my hand set every month for free. Engineered by a group of rebel programmers. I am going to share this to all of you. Please follow the instructions as stated below before you start it: Applicable for ORANGE (HUTCH), AIRTEL, SPICE & BSNL users only, sorry for idea, BPL and Reliance users and it is done illegally of course. But there are many things that are illegal in this world. But then who cares. Don't worry nobody can trap you. No legal action can be taken on you for this. So go ahead without worrying. You can only do this every 24th & 25th of the month as the network system is under upgrade. 1.) ** Dial " more...

You may want to compile a list of Radio "one-liners" like:
WKDU: More static, more of the time...
You're listening to WKDU. No one else is, but you are.
This is KFJC and you are listening to our hour-long music-free commercial sweep.
WQHS. 73 on your AM dial. Or, if you have an expensive radio, 730.
Are your friends laughing at you? Maybe it's because you are not listening to WQHS, 730 on your AM dial, on the University of Pennsylvania campus. Or maybe it's because you're ugly.
This has been xxx at KFJC reminding you that animals are your friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.
WKDU: Broadcasting with TEN MILLION microwatts of POWER!
Hi. This is Swamp Thing and we say that you should listen to WQHS because... because... well, do you REALLY have anything better to do?

1. Try to use your dorm key to unlock your bedroom door.
2. Have your mom scan your ID card for meals.
3. Look for a tray to carry your dinner to the table with.
4. Walk two blocks to go to dinner.
5. Forget to dial the first three digits of your friend`s phone number.
6. Dial 9 when calling out of your house.
7. Use your calling card when calling your friends.
8. Walk to the post office to get your mail.
9. Yell "FLUSH!"
10. Jump out of the shower just in case someone does flush.
11. Try to latch the bathroom door because you think you`re in a stall.
12. Take all your shower items to and from your room.
13. Get dressed in the dark.
14. Go nuts looking for the quarter slots on the washing machine.
15. Make junk food runs at 11: 30 at night.
16. Make popcorn just because you miss the smell.
17. Order pizza every Friday night.
18. Have one of your friends spend the night because you can`t more...

SUBJECT: Soap Saga
Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a
London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel
involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.
WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE "FREE" SOAPS WHEN TRAVELLING
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove
the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest
and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank
you,
S. Berman
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap
dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your
way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should
change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which more...

Hotel LettersThe following letters were taken from an actual incident between aLondon hotel and one of its guests. The hotel submitted the letters to the London SundayTimes for their humor column....Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little barsof soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the sixunopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in theshower soap dish. They are in my way.Thank you,
S. BermanDear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be backtomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dishas you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of yourKleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I lefttoday which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this issatisfactory.Kathy,
Relief MaidDear Maid, I hope you are my regular maid. more...