May be offensive to Native Americans.
A community of settlers was moving in on an Indian Tribe. Most Indian tribes had a medicine man who was the leader of the tribe. Well the settlers were planning to move the Indians off their land to build a town. The big chief of the Indians did not like it at all. So he decided to go to the settlers and tell them that he was not moving.
The big chief finds one settler and says, "ME BIG CHIEF WANT TO SEE MEDICINE MAN!"
The settler had no idea what the chief was talking about, so he sent him to the pharmacist down the road.
The chief says to the pharmacist,"YOU MEDICINE MAN??"
The pharmacist replies,"yes."
The chief says "ME BIG CHIEF NO MOVE!!" Well the pharmacist thinks that the Indian must be constipated, so he gives him some ex-lax and sends him on his way.
A week later the chief shows up again and says, "ME BIG CHIEF STILL NO MOVE!"
The pharmacist thought about more...
What to Do With All Those "Free" Soaps When Travelling This is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned. Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the more...
A British doctor says "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a brain out of one man, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."
A German doctor says, "That's nothing, we can take a brain out of one person, put it in another and have him preparing for war in four weeks."
The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind, we just took a man with no brain out of the desert of Texas, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work, and the other half is preparing for war."
The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand." "And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions," the medic said." Hell, no," the old fellow replied. "I want to borrow your Lamborghini."
One doc operated on a person for a hernia. He opened his testis and took the balls out and kept it on the table. At the end of the operation he wanted to put his balls back into the pouch of testis. He searched operation theatre but could not find the balls of the patient. Lastly he told nurse to get two small onions from his lunch box as he cannot keep his testis pouch empty. After that operation he met the same patient in a garden for morning walk. Being a good doc, he asked his patient how he is feeling now. He said "Doc everything is fine, life is very cool except that whenever Iscratch my balls, my eyes start watering."