Deduction Jokes / Recent Jokes

Washington DC - An Indiana woman has won agreement from the US Tax Court that her breasts are business assets and can be depreciated for tax purposes.
Cynthia S. Hess, known as "Chesty Love" in her professional life as an exotic dancer, claimed a $2,088 deduction in 1988 for depreciation on the surgical implants that enlarged her bust size to a 56FF.
The IRS turned down the deduction, citing a long list of court decisions holding that expenditures to enhance a taxpayer's health or appearance - while useful for business - are so inherently personal that they can't be deducted as a business expense.
But Hess found an ally in Special Trail Judge Joan Seitz Pate, who ruled that the implants increased Hess' income and that the the breasts are so large and cumbersome - they weigh about 10 pounds each - that she couldn't derive personal benefit from them.
From the Daily Collegian

Dear Sirs:
I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three
dependents I claimed on my 1994 Federal Tax return. Thank you. I have
questioned whether these are my children or not for years. They are evil
and expensive. It's only fair that since they are minors and not my
responsibility that the government (who evidently is taxing me more to
care for these waifs) knows something about them and what to expect over
the next year. You may apply next year to reassign them to me and
reinstate the deduction. This year they are yours!
The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant. Ask her! I suggest you
put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions
about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed
to hamper her knowledge of any other subject you can name. Taxes should
be a breeze; next year she is going to college. I think it's wonderful
that you will now be more...

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two".

Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better. This is one of those. It is a real letter submitted to the IRS the midst of 1995s weird and bizarre denial of dependents, exemptions and credits. The letter speaks for itself.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Dear Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1994 Federal Tax return. Thank you! I have questioned whether or not these are my children for years. They are evil and expensive. It's only fair that, since they are minors and no longer my responsibility, the government should know something about them and what to expect over the next year. Please do not try to reassign them to me next year and reinstate the deduction. They are yours! The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions about their returns. While she more...