Dating Jokes / Recent Jokes
My last relationship was dysfunctional. I would always give her thoughtful gifts likeflowers, cards, and jewelry. She wouldgive me less considerate things like…Herpes.
A mother and daughter are sitting down over afternoon tea. The mother wants to show her daughter that she's a hip parent and tries to get her daughter to open up and talk about dating boys and what it's like for her. Mom: So.... now that you have started dating, what's it like getting intimate with young men? Daughter: Oh you know how it is, boys are always insensitive and never care if intimacy isn't working for me. Mom: How? Daughter: Oh, stuff.... Mom: Really now, you can trust me. I think that its important for mothers and daughters to talk about these matters... Daughter: I don't know..... Mom: Now don't forget, I was a teenager once and I can remember what dating boys was like for me, believe I remember Daughter: Really? Mom: Really... Daughter: Ok, for starters, how did you get their cum out of your eyes?
A guy is dating three women and cant decide which one to marry. He gives each $1, 000 to see how well they can manage money. The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank. The third one puts the whole $1, 000 in the bank. Which one does he end up marrying? The most beautiful one..
I'm trying computer dating, at least I'm not getting dumped... but I do get deleted.
Message from www.dating.com:
Your dating ad has been on the net
for 8 weeks without any answer!
Do you rather want us to try
one week without a picture?
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you"d better be delivering a package, because you"re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter"s body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don"t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, infact come off during the course of you date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers more...
A survey reports.ExternalClass.ecxhmmessage P{padding:0px;}.ExternalClass body.ecxhmmessage{font-size:10pt;font-family:Verdana;}young people think frank conversations about their sex livessignal that a relationship will last. Didn't help when I told myex-girlfriend that I had the clap... not even telling her I wanted to sharemy CIPRO helped.