Dating Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The story behind this joke:... There's this nutball who digs things out his back yard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archeological finds. The really weird thing about these letters is that this guy really exists and does this in his spare time! Paleoanthropology DivisionSmithsonian Institute207 Pennsylvania AvenueWashington, DC 20078Dear Sir: Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago. "Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu more...

    100 Reasons It's Good to Be a Woman
    1. free drinks
    2. free dinners
    3. free lunches
    4. free movies (you get the point)
    5. you can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay
    6. you can cry without pretending there's something in your contact
    7. you know the truth about whether size matters
    8. Speeding ticket? What's that?
    9. you can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay
    10. you actually get extra points for sitting on your butt watching sports
    11. you don't have to try to laugh louder, deeper and harder than your buddies
    12. if you never have a son, it's okay
    13. if you do have a son, and he's a lousy athlete, it's still okay
    14. if YOU'RE a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth as a human being
    15. a new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life
    16. in high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned
    17. if you have sex with someone more...

    Dating hints for men

    Hot 4 years ago

    Dating hints for gentlemen
    There are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date...
    I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

    1. free dinners
    2. free lunches
    3. free brunches
    4. free movies (you get the point)
    5. you can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay
    6. you can cry without pretending there's something in your contact
    7. you know the truth about whether size matters
    8. speeding ticket? What's that?
    9. you can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay
    10. you actually get extra points for sitting on your butt watching sports
    11. you don't have to try to laugh louder, deeper and harder than your buddies
    12. if you never have a son, it's okay
    13. if you do have a son, and he's a lousy athlete, it's still okay
    14. if YOU'RE a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth as a human being
    15. a new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life
    16. in high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned
    17. if you have sex with someone and don't call them the next day, it more...

    A Dictionary of common dating terminology
    ATTRACTION
    the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
    LOVE AT 1st SIGHT
    what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy on people they meet.
    DATING
    the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
    BIRTH CONTROL
    avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
    EASY
    a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
    EYE CONTACT
    a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her more...

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