Dane Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three Dogs

Hot 2 years ago

3 dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vet's office. One is a Poodle, one is a Schnauzer and the other is a Great Dane. The Poodle turns to the Schnauzer and asks, "Why are you here?"
The Schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well. I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sick so he brought me here to be put to sleep." The Schnauzer asks the poodle, "Why are you here?"
The Poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially high strung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and I even bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has been happening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he brought me here to be put to sleep." The Poodle and Schnauzer ask the Great Dane why he is here.
The Great Dane responds, "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterday she was walking around the house naked when more...

Two dogs in a vets

Hot 10 months ago

a great dane and an alsation are with their masters in the waiting room at the local vets.
the great dane decides to strike up a conversation and ask the alsation what he's in for.
well said the alsation, its a long story but it goes something like this-i was napping on the landing when the masters wife came out of the bathroom, stark naked and dripping wet, she bent over to pick a towel up and i could'nt resist, i was up there like a shot, fucking her like she'd never been fucked before, so the masters bought me in to be put down, what about you? wow! said the great dane- thats a coincidence i was also napping on the landing when the masters wife came out of the bathroom, she was wearing stockings and suspenders, but no-knickers, she bent over to pick her blouse up, and i could'nt resist, i was in like a shot, fucking her like she'd never been fucked before!.
oh, said the alsation, so your here to be put down as well then? heck no, said the great dane, i'm here to have my more...

Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is apoodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane.The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks "why are you here?"The schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well.I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sickso he brought me here to be put to sleep."The schnauzer asks the poodle "why are you here?"The poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially highstrung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and Ieven bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has beenhappening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he broughtme here to be put to sleep."The poodle and schnauzer ask the great Dane why he is here.The great Dane responds: "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterdayshe was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to more...

A man goes to a bar and he ties his Great Dane up outside. About 10 minutes later a lady comes in and asks whos Great Dane is outside.
"Mine" says the man. "My dog has just killed him", she says.
"What breed is your dog?" he asks. "A Chiuahua", she says.
"How can a Chiuahua kill a Great Dane?"
"He got caught in his throat!!!"

A man goes to a bar and he ties his Great Dane up outside. About 10 minutes later a lady comes in and asks whos Great Dane is outside."Mine" says the man. "My dog has just killed him", she says."What breed is your dog?" he asks. "A Chiuahua", she says."How can a Chiuahua kill a Great Dane?" "He got caught in his throat!!!"