Poodle Jokes

Whats the difference between a pet poodle humping your leg and a pit bull humping your leg?
You let the pit bull finish.

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.
The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them "The first one who can use the words "liver" and "cheese" together in an imaginative, intelligent, sentence can go out with me."
The sturdy, muscular, black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."
"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever"
She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said, "How well can you do?"
"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," more...

A huge truck driver is sitting at a bar having a drink when this little pipsqueak of a guy walks in and asks who owns the pit bull outside.
The truck driver hollers "It's MY dog! What's it to you!"
The little runt says, "Nothing, but I think my dog just killed yours..."
The truck driver jumps up and says "WHAT! What kind of dog do you have anyway?"
The other guy replies "A toy poodle."
"A poodle!" the truck driver yells. "How in the hell can a poodle kill a pit bull?!"
"Well," replied the little guy, "I think he choked on it."

Q) What did the blonde do when her toy poodle died? A) She tried putting batteries in it!

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.

The poodle thinks, "Oh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade more...