Cries Jokes / Recent Jokes

If he is late for class, he told, Time and Tide wait for none.
If she is late, then the bus was late.

If a girl is dressed as a boy, she is modern, says the world.
But if a boy is dressed as a girl, Has he escaped from the Zoo?

If a boy talks with a girl, i think he is trying for her
But if a girl talks with a boy, then she is trying to be friendly.

When a girl cries, the world is convinced of her
But when a boy cries, Come on man: Dont be a girl.

If a girl meets with an accident, then its the mistake of others.
And if a boy meets with an accident, I think you should learn to drive.

If a boy sits in front of a city bus, he is mannerless and cultureless brute.
But if a girl sits in the back seat, Try to respect ladies, man!.

If a boy gets a big rank in an entrance exam, Youve to work hard.
But if a girl gets a big rank, still got 33! Reservation.

If there are girls in a more...

Two nuns are on vacation in Transylvania. Despite all the warnings to the contrary, they've stayed out after dark. Sure enough, as they're driving along, a vampire flies out of the night and lands on their windshield, hissing and baring his horrible bloody fangs.
"Dear Lord! What shall we do?" cries the first nun.
"Turn on the windshield wipers. Maybe that will break his grip," answers the second nun.
No luck. Now the vampire is wet and angry. He claws at the windshield.
"Now what shall we do?" yells the first nun, getting even more scared.
"Weave the car back and forth. Maybe he'll fall off," says the second nun.
No luck. The vampire is beating on the glass now, and it's starting to crack.
"NOW WHAT!?!?!" cries the first nun.
The second nun tries to remember how to get rid of vampires. She has a sudden flash of insight. "Show him your cross!" she yells, triumphantly.
The second nun sticks more...

A man is drowning in the sea.''Help me, Lord,'' he cries.
Just then, a fishing trawler comes by. ''Climb on board'' yells the skipper.
''No, no, no,'' says the drowning man. ''The Lord will save me.''
''OK, we will be on our way, then,'' replies the captain.
Two minutes later a rescue helicopter landed along-side the poor chap, and the pilot threw a rope into the fierce waves. ''I do not need any help,'' cries the breathless man, ''The Lord will come and rescue me.''
Moments later the guy drowns, and finds himself in heaven. On meeting God, the man weeps: ''Lord, I was waiting for you to rescue me from my watery tomb. Why did you not save me?''
God replies:'' You daft sod. I sent you a boat and a bloody helicopter!''

Beppo: (crying) the doctor called, my mother is dead. Friend: relex, my friend. After 2 minutes beppo cries even louder friend: what now? Beppo: my sister just called, her mother died too!

A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says "Sure, we can put you up."
The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son, and a gigantic pig who is sitting at the table like a human. Throughout the meal the vagrant tries not to stare at the pig, who sports three medals around his neck, as well as a wooden leg.
Finally, he can contain his curiosity no longer. He asks "Would you mind telling me about the bronze medal around your pig's neck?"
The farmer says "Sure. It's really an incredible story. Little Timmy here was swimming in the lake when he got a cramp and started to drown. This pig heard his cries for help, busted out of his pen, ran to the lake, and saved our son's life. So, we gave him the medal."
The vagrant is amazed and says "Well, how about that silver medal?"
The farmer says more...

A man is running along and falls off a cliff - I don't know why he falls
off a cliff, he just does, OK?
As he's falling he manages to grab onto a tree about 15 feet down,
growing out from the side of the cliff. Now he's hanging there and he
looks down and sees this 200 feet drop below him, but he knows he's
only 15 feet from the top of cliff. Looking up he cries out for help,
"Is there anybody up there?"
Much to his surprise he is heard. A voice replies which can only be
that of the lord (the reverb has been turned up and there's too much
bass), "Let... go..."
The man looks down at the 200 feet drop, and then looking up once
more, cries out, "Is there anybody else up there?"

A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says "Sure, we can put you up."
The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son, and a gigantic pig who is sitting at the table like a human. Throughout the meal the vagrant tries not to stare at the pig, who sports three medals around his neck, as well as a wooden leg.
Finally, he can contain his curiosity no longer. He asks "Would you mind telling me about the bronze medal around your pig's neck?"
The farmer says "Sure. It's really an incredible story. Little Timmy here was swimming in the lake when he got a cramp and started to drown. This pig heard his cries for help, busted out of his pen, ran to the lake, and saved our son's life. So, we gave him the medal."
The vagrant is amazed and says "Well, how about that silver medal?"
The farmer says more...