Nine Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Twelve Days of Fast Food

    Hot 2 years ago

    On the first day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: A Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the second day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Two Happy Meals, and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the third day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the fourth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the fifth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the sixth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. On the seventh day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Seven pints of cole slaw, Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, more...

    An old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store.
    When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she had taken.
    The lady replied, "A can of peaches."
    The judge then asked why she had done it.
    She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."
    The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.
    She replied, "Nine."
    The judge said, "Well then, I'm going to give you nine days in jail-one day for each peach."
    As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak.
    The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?"
    The husband said, "Your honor, she also stole a can of peas."

    Short Jokes 3

    Hot 3 years ago

    Q: Why is number six afraid?
    A: Because seven eight nine (seven ate nine)

    Q: How do you know when a motorcycle policeman is happy?
    A: He has bugs on his teeth!

    Q: What did zero say to eight?
    A: Nice belt.
    (The 8 looks like a 0 with a belt around its waist.)

    Q: What did number 1 say to 7?
    A: Nice hair

    THE COLONEL TO THE EXECUTIVE: At nine o'clock tomorrow there, will be an eclipse of the sun, something which does not occur every day. Get the men to fall out in the company street in their fatigues so that they will be able to see this rare phenomenon. Should it rain we will not be able to see anything, so take the men to the gym.
    THE EXECUTIVE TO THE CAPTAIN: By order of the Colonel, tomorrow at nine o'clock, there will be an eclipse of the Sun; if it rains, you will not be able to see it from the company street, so then, take the men in fatigues to the gym. The eclipse of the Sun will take place in the gym, something that does not occur every day.
    THE CAPTAIN TO THE LIEUTENANT: By order of the Colonel in fatigues tomorrow at nine o'clock in the morning the inauguration of the eclipse of the sun will take place in the gym. The Colonel will give the order if it should rain, something which occurs every day.
    THE LIEUTENANT TO THE SERGEANT: Tomorrow at nine o'clock the more...

    (As told to me by a bartender, original source unknown.)
    A tired looking gentleman walks up to a bar and asks the bartender quite
    explicitly for nine double martinis, extra dry, hold the olives, and to
    serve them all at once, right away. The bartender gives the man a curious
    look, but to no effect, and proceeds to mix and pour the man's request.
    The gentleman picks up the first and turns it up quickly before the
    bartender can finish pouring even the second one, and proceeds to drink
    each one in turn. Finally, the bartender has to ask.
    "Why all the drinks?"
    "Celebrating!"
    "Oh? What's the occasion?"
    "My first blowjob."
    "Well, congratulations. Let me give you one on the house to make it
    an even ten."
    "No thanks. If this doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, another
    one won't help any."

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