Escape Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    How did the blonde die in a fire when the fire escape was right next to her?
    She thought the fire escape was for the fire to escape!!!

    I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult, in order to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old. The tax base is lower.
    I want to be six again.
    I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place in the world to eat.
    I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make waves with rocks.
    I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them.
    I want to play kickball during recess and stay up on Christmas Eve waiting to hear Santa and Rudolph on the roof.
    I long for the days when life was simple. When all you knew were your colors, the addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but it didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know, and you didn't care.
    I want to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.
    I want to be happy, because I don't know what should make me upset.
    I want to think the world is fair and everyone in it is honest and good.
    I want to believe that more...

    In WW2 Captain Saunders was wounded in battle and captured by the Germans. He was sent to a German military hospital.
    On his first day in the hospital a doctor came, bearing bad news, "we have to amputate your legs."
    The Captain was very sad, however he asked the doctor if his legs could be dropped in his commanders next bombing mission over Britain. The doctor asked his commander, and he said yes.
    And sure enough it was dropped.
    On the second day the doctor came bearing more bad news, "we have to amputate your left arm."
    The Captain was sadder than before, but he asked if this could also be dropped, in the commander's next mission. The answer was yes and it was dropped.
    On the third day, the doctor came bearing even more bad news, "we have to amputate your right arm."
    The Captain was also sad, and he asked the arm could be dropped in the next bombing mission. The doctor replied, "NO, my commander thinks you are trying to more...

    Three convicts escape from prison. They make it to a nearby town but are confonted by a policeman. "Hey, aren't you those three escaped convicts?", asked the policeman. Thinking on his feet the first convict looked around him and said "no, I'm Mark, Mark Spencer", "The second followed his lead and said "My names is William, W H Smith". The third said "My name is Ken... Tucky Fried Chicken"

    Is Gilligan the Devil?

    Hot 1 year ago

    Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called "Gilligan's Island." There is, however, a dark secret about this "comedy" you may never have realized. The island is a direct representation of Hell.
    Nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave. Each one of the characters represents one of the 7 deadly sins:
    Ginger represents LUST - she wears skimpy outfits, is obsessed with her looks, and is a borderline nymphomaniac.
    Mary Ann represents ENVY - she is jealous of Ginger's beauty.
    The Professor represents PRIDE - he is an annoying know-it-all.
    Mr. Howell represents GREED - no explanation needed.
    Mrs. Howell represents SLOTH - she has never lifted a finger to help on any of their escape plans.
    The Skipper represents two sins: GLUTTONY - again, no explanation needed and ANGER - he violently hits Gilligan on each show.
    This leaves Gilligan. Gilligan is the person who put them there. He prevents them from leaving by more...

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