Contestant Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Game Show Contestant

    Hot 6 years ago

    Janet was a first time contestant on the $65,000 television quiz show. So far, luck was on her side since she had gained a substantial lead over her opponents. She had even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show's host could ask her the big question.
    Janet agreed to return the following day and was extremely nervous as her husband drove them home.
    "I just have to win tomorrow," she said, "I really wish I knew what the answer is! You realize I'm not going to be able to sleep at all tonight and will probably look horrible tomorrow."
    "Relax, honey," her husband, Robert, said reassuringly. "Everything's going to be fine."
    Minutes after they arrived home, Robert grabbed the car keys and started to head out the door. "Where are you going?" Janet asked.
    "I have one small errand to run," Robert replied. "I should be back soon."
    After an agonizing two hour more...

    Lumps Of Saliva

    Hot 6 years ago

    A Guy Opens A Bar To Make The Bar More Popular He Put A 10ft Fish Tank And Said Whoever Walks Into My Bar Has To Spit In It 2
    Yrs Pass By And The Tank Is Full He Had To Empty The Tank Out Somewhere b'coz He Didnt Want To By Another Tank Saying That
    This Tank Was Very Lucky So He Had A Competition It Was That If A Person Can Drink The Whole Tank Of Spit He Would Have A
    Life Time Supply Of Booze. Three Contestants Sign Up So The 1st Contestant Sips And Sips And Starts Vomiting, The 2nd
    Contestant Has Five Sips And Starts Vomiting, 3rd Contestant Sips And Stops Sips And Stops Like This He Finishes The Wholw
    Tank So The Bar Owner Asked Him Why Did U Sip And Stop Sip And Stop So The Third Contestant Turns Around And Tells Him I Was
    Chewing On The Lumps Of Saliva....

    On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match." The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.

    The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.

    One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:

    DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of' Mate Match'?"

    Contestant: (laughing) "Yes I have."

    DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando,Florida if you win. What is more...

    If you want to be America's premier "American Flatulator," you've got to have it... gas, that is. And if you're pumped up for the challenge, you'll have to let yourself go in a series of hilarious, explosive events that are sure to clear the air - and maybe the room - about who's really full of it. The events include:
    POWER BALLOON
    "American Flatulators" and the challengers face off in a rip-roaring, cheek-to-cheek competition designed to separate the big boomers from the little bags of wind. The object behind POWER BALLOON is that each contestant must fill a heavy gauge balloon with his or her own natural gas until the durable plastic sack becomes too pooped and pops. Each contestant uses their own unique technique to fill 'er up. Winner takes all! No ifs, and or butts.
    DON'T PASS THE GAS
    This contest demands real endurance. Opponents use giant Q-Tip like pugel sticks (as in Pee UUU) to try and knock the farts out of each other. The winner is the more...

    It was general question time on the "Top of the World" quiz show and the host first asked the Hungarian contestant: "Complete this line of a song and spell your answer - Old MacDonald had a...." The Hungarian answered quickly: "Station - S T A T I O N." Next it was the Polish contestant who was asked the same question: "Old MacDonald had a...." "Ranch," was the reply, "R A N C H." Finally the Irishman was asked the same question: "Old MacDonald had a...." "Farm," the Irishman proudly stated. "Correct," said the host. "Now spell the word farm." The Irishman thought for a moment. "E I E I O."

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