Colour Jokes / Recent Jokes

President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Bill, da Canadian pipple would be 'appy to do anyt'ing wit'in der power to 'elp you" replied the Prime Minster. (Yes, he does speak like that)
"I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 Condoms ASAP to tie us over?"
"Certainment! I get right on it!" said Chretien.
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Clinton.
"Oui?"
"Could the condoms be red, white and blue in colour; at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Clinton.
"No problem" replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Cretien hung up and called the President of Trojan.
"I need a favour, you got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send dem to more...

(100 ways to keep your Testosterone flowing)
1 Don't call, ever.
2 If you don't like a girl, don't tell her. It's more fun to let her figure it out by herself.
3 Lie.
4 Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and unoriginal, such as "spike"
5 If you lose something that belongs to someone else, tell them you mailed it to them.
6 Here's a good pick-up line, "My girlfriend's pregnant, will you go out with me?
7 Drink Vernors.
8 Play with yourself. Talk about it.
9 Be as ambiguous as possible. If you don't want to answer, a nice grunt will do.
10 Always remember: You are a man. Therefore, no matter what, it isn't your fault.
11 Lie
12 Girls find it attractive if a man has had more women than baths.
13 Never ask for help. Even if you really, really need help don't ask. People will think you have no penis.
14 Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.
15 Vanity is the most more...