Colour Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    It's great to be a bloke because:
    Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
    Your orgasms are real. Always.
    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
    Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
    Wrinkles add character.
    A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished.
    You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
    People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
    Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
    Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice more...

    POLITICALLY CORRECT SEASONS GREETINGS Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes For an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the northern hemispheresummer solstice, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of thereligious persuasion of your choice, or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions ofothers, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medicallyuncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great, andwithout regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual orientation or choice of computer platform andoperating system of the wishee. By accepting more...

    a black guy who was in the school of whites guys. so there was a white guy who was a giant he hates this black guy so he try always to treat this black guy bad. someday he took him for a fight but the black said:why don't you pick someone with your own colour.

    AGE DRINK 17 - Wine Coolers 25 - White wine 35 - Red wine 48 - Dom Perignon 66 - Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES 17 - Need to wash my hair 25 - Need to wash and condition my hair 35 - Need to colour my hair 48 - Need to have Francois colour my hair 66 - Need to have Francois colour my wig FAVORITE SPORT 17 - shopping 25 - shopping 35 - shopping 48 - shopping 66 - shopping DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 - "Burger King" 25 - "Free meal" 35 - "A diamond" 48 - "A bigger diamond" 66 - "Home Alone" FAVORITE FANTASY 17 - tall, dark and handsome 25 - tall, dark and handsome with money 35 - tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain 48 - a man with hair 66 - a man HOUSE PET 17 - Muffy the cat 25 - Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat 35 - German Shepherd and Muffy the Cat 48 - Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat 66 - Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muff the Cat WHAT'S THE IDEAL more...

    For all those serious Maths buffs... lemmas and theorems!
    1. Lemma: All horses are of the same colour.
    Proof (by induction):
    Case n=1: In a set with only one horse, it is obvious that all horses in that set are the same colour.
    Case n=k: Suppose you have a set of k+1 horses. Pull one of these horses out of the set, so that you have k horses. Suppose that all of these horses are the same colour. Now put back the horse that you took out, and pull out a different one. Suppose that all of the k horses now in the set are the same colour. Then the set of k+1 horses are all the same colour. We have k true => k+1 true; therefore all horses are of the same color.
    2. Theorem: All horses have an infinite number of legs.
    Proof (by intimidation):
    Everyone would agree that all horses have an even number of legs. It is also well-known that horses have forelegs in front and two legs in back. 4 + 2 = 6 legs, which is certainly an odd number of legs for a horse to have! Now more...

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