Code Jokes / Recent Jokes

your immune system attacks a dog crossing your front garden.
you have delusions of being an emergency doctor.
the EMS guys think your name is the Coffee Mate.
you tell the doctors and nurses that you don't get paid anything to do this and they look at you like you'r some kind of a freak.
your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.
the EMS guys refer to you as "the pain in the ass that got in my way when I was bringing in a code!"
your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.
your favorite colors are green, white and red, even though you are not Italian.
your favorite thing is to take orders from medical students.
you have recurring nightmares about being knocked to the floor and run over by a portable X-ray machine.

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it.They decided on the word Typewriter.One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.

WRITE IN C (sung to The Beatles "Let it Be")When I find my code in tons of trouble, Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom:"Write in C."As the deadline fast approaches, And bugs are all that I can see, Somewhere, someone whispers""Write in C."Write in C, write in C, Write in C, write in C.LISP is dead and buried, Write in C.I used to write a lot of FORTRAN, for science it worked flawlessly.Try using it for graphics! Write in C.If you've just spent nearly 30 hoursDebugging some assembly, Soon you will be glad toWrite in C.Write in C, write in C, Write In C, yeah, write in C.Only wimps use BASIC.Write in C.Write in C, write in C, Write in C, oh, write in C.Pascal won't quite cut it.Write in C.{ Guitar Solo}Write in C, write in C, Write in C, yeah, write in C.Don't even mention COBOL.Write in C.And when the screen is fuzzy, And the edior is bugging me.I'm sick of ones and zeroes.Write in C.A thousand people people swear that more...

There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen." This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.

About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, more...

Revision codes
Once you start playing with software you quickly become aware that each software package has a revision code attached to it. It is obvious that this revision code gives the sequence of changes to the product, but in reality there’s substantially more information available through the rev-code than that. This article provides a guide for interpreting the meaning of the revision codes and what they actually signify.
1. 0: Also known as “one point uh-oh”, or”barely out of beta”. We had to release because the lab guys had reached a point of exhaustion and the marketing guys were in a cold sweat of terror. We’re praying that you’ll find it more functional than, say, a computer virus and that its operation has some resemblance to that specified in the marketing copy.
1. 1: We fixed all the killer bugs …
1. 2: Uh, we introduced a few new bugs fixing the killer bugs and so we had to fix them, too.
2. 0: We did the product we really more...

An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!"Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen." From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen." This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93. Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen!"The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest. But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said -"I don't know why you're laughing; your more...

A blond and her friends went to a bank to rob it. The blond's job was to get the code for the vault they wanted to rob. Finally, the blond came back to the vault and began punching in numbers. Each time she typed in a number it beeped a different sound. A friend asked, "Do you know the code?"
The blond said, "No, but listen." She made a whole bunch of beeps then said, "It's the funky town music!"