Circus Jokes / Recent Jokes
body: A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading: "Don't Miss The Amazing Italian." Curious, he buys a ticket.
The tent goes dark. Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There, spot lit in the center ring is table with three walnuts on it.
Standing next to it is an old retired Italian. Suddenly the old man unzips his pants, whips out a huge penis and smashes all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupts in applause as the elderly Italian is carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.
Ten years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees a faded sign for the same circus and the same: "Don't Miss the Amazing Italian." He can't believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his act! So he buys a ticket.
Again, the center ring is illuminated. This time, instead of walnuts, three coconuts are placed on the table. The Italian stands before more...
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
A circus owner was looking to hire a lion tamer and two young people showed up for the tryout. One was a handsome young man, the other a young, gorgeous blonde woman.
"I'm not going to sugar coat this for you," the circus owner told them, "This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so both of you better be good, or you're history. Here's your equpment - a chair, whip and gun. Now, which one of you would like to go first?"
The young blonde woman decided she would go first. She walked right past the chair, whip and gun, and stepped right into the lion's cage. The lion immediately began to snarl, pant and charge her. About halfway there, she threw open her coat to reveal her beautiful naked body.
Stopping dead in his tracks, the lion sheepishly crawled up to her and proceeded to lick her ankles. He then licked her calves, kissed them, and came to rest with his head at her feet.
Seeing this, the circus owner's mouth dropped to the floor. more...
...'Well, it wasn't that tragic. Soon after that, I started seeing another man who performed in the circus. He was really a great guy, but he lived pretty dangerously because he performed his high-wire act without a net.Well, a few weeks after we got married, he was performing a show and suddenly a gust of wind came by and knocked him off his wire and he was killed.''Your second husband was killed too?!!? That's horrible!''Yes, it was terrible, but at the funeral I fell in love with the minister and we got married soon after that. Unfortunately, one Sunday while he was walking to church, he was hit by a car and killed.''Three??? Three husbands of yours were killed? How could you live through all that?''It was pretty tough, but then I met my present husband. And he's a wonderful man. I think we'll live a long happy life together.''And what does your present husband do for a living?''He's a mortician.''A mortician? I don't understand something here. First you marry a banker, then a more...
A circus owner walks into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap-dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheelin’ and dealin’ they settled for $10, 000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, “Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn’t dance a single step! ” “So? ” asked the ducks former owner, “did you remember to light the candle under the pot? ”
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show.
On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.
The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner.
After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10, 000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, “Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn’t dance a single step! ” “So? ” asked the duck’s former owner, “did you remember to light the candle under the pot? ”
What do a circus and congress have in common?
They are both full of CLOWNS