Chemicals Jokes / Recent Jokes

Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. -- Mike Adams

Chemicals: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.

Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

There is the joke about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine and died of an overdose.

How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker?
None. That's what organic chemists are for!

It is disconcerting to reflect on the number of students we have flunked in chemistry for not knowing what we later found to be untrue. --quoted in Robert L. Weber, Science With a Smile (1992)

Physical Chemistry is research on everything for which the negative logaritm is linear with 1/T -- D. L. Bunker

Q: What weapon can you make from the Chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?
A: KNiFe.

You won't beleive this. It's a true story. Ahem: About a year ago I was at Science Class and sitting beside my buddy Chad. We were in this huge science lab, and were waiting for our assighnment Mr.Hall wlked in, and wrote on the marker board. "All students will be required to wear they're goggles and an apron. Pair up with a partner and you will each be given a series of chemicals. make predictions about what you think they are. Look, touch,(with gloves)and write down observations. Next, heat the chemical you observed, and describe what happens. Do not over heat bunsen burner! Record observations in science journal, and wait for further directions."
Chad and I put on our gear and grabbed our chemicals. I tested a few, but came up on one that I couldn't figure out. Chad on the other hand, was doing fine with his half.
"What do you think this is?" "Dunno" Chad replied, he lit the burner. I observed the liquid. it was clear, and looked like more...

When a father came home, he asked his wife where their son was. She told him he was in the basement playing with his chemistry set. The father was curious, so he went downstairs to see what his son was doing. As he walked down the steps, he could hear a banging sound. When he got to the bottom, he saw his son pounding a nail into the wall.
"What are you doing, son?" the father asked. "I thought you were playing with your chemistry set. Why are you hammering a nail into the wall?"
"Oh, this isn't a nail, Dad, it's a worm," his son replied. "When I put these chemicals on it, it became as hard as a rock."
The father thought about it for a moment and said, "Tell you what, son, give me those chemicals and I'll give you a new Volkswagen."
Naturally, his son said, "Sure, why not."
The following day, his son went into the garage to see his new car. Parked in the garage was a brand new Mercedes. Just then, his more...

Here's one I heard on the radio recently.
A father comes home and asks where his son is. His wife replies that he's
downstairs playing with his new chemistry set. The father is curious so he
wanders down stairs to see what his son is doing. As he's walking down the
steps he hears a banging sound. When he gets to the bottom he sees his son
pounding a nail into the wall. He says to his son, "What are you doing? I
thought you were playing with your chemistry set. Why are you hammering a
nail into the wall?" His son replied, "This isn't a nail, dad, it's a worm. I
put these chemicals on it and it became hard as a rock."
His dad thought about it for a minute and said, "I'll tell you what
son, give me those chemicals and I'll give you a new Volkswagon." His son
quite naturally said, ''Sure why not.''
The next day his son went into the garage
to see his new car. Parked in the garage was a brand new Mercedes. more...